Playing Catch Up – My Thoughts On WWE Battleground 2016

Hey folks, I’m back once again with another wrestling review. As a reminder I’m trying to finally watch all of the WWE PPVs I’ve missed this year, and in turn am reviewing them all. This time around it’s Battleground 2016’s turn. I would give a spoiler warning but this PPV DID happen in July. If you’re like me and still hadn’t seen it yet, you’ve had long enough.

Oh and be warned, I was extremely tired when watching the vast majority of this PPV. So if there’s a spot that happened that I don’t mention, I probably just briefly fell asleep and missed it. So my bad I guess.

Quick Thoughts On The Pre-Show Match

Breezango vs. The Usos

Damn fine match. Both teams came out of this smelling like roses as far as I’m concerned. They really made it look like it could go either way. I like both teams so I didn’t mind The Usos losing. It was also interesting to see Breeze get the win clean. Like damn. I did not expect that. I mean sure it was a small package but he didn’t do any dirty tactics or whatever to set it up is my point.

Match Rating – Solid B-

Main Show

Sasha Banks & Bayley vs. Charlotte and Dana Brooke

Fairly solid opening tag match. Thank God the crowd popped the way they did for Bayley or it totally would’ve ruined the whole thing. I mean they were expecting her anyway, but still. There was a botch or two here and there but nothing that really ruined the match. Granted Dana needs to just never attack someone with her hands when they’re on the mat. It just looks kind of awkward. Well, that and she usually misses by a mile and the camera angle doesn’t help. Wrestling punches are pretty much always shit though so I guess I can’t entirely blame her.

I must admit I’m kind of annoyed that Charlotte didn’t defend the title at this PPV considering there wasn’t a title defense at Money In The Bank, but the match was good enough to make up for it I guess. Plus Sasha & Bayley won, so that was also nice.

Match Rating – Solid C+ (Might seem a bit low but eh, as much as I liked it it was still fairly average)

The Wyatt Family vs. The New Day

The Wyatt Family won. The. Wyatt. Family. Won. No see I don’t think you heard me clearly enough. THE! WYATT! FAMILY! WON!

Match Rating – Solid A+ (THE FUCKING WYATT FAMILY ACTUALLY WON HOLY SHIT!)

WWE United States Championship match:
Rusev (champ) vs. Zack Ryder

I must admit, whilst I knew Ryder wasn’t gonna win, the WWE actually almost tricked me. Zack Ryder got to look pretty damn good in this match. Better than Titus got to look I’d argue, which is weird since Titus was more of a physical threat to Rusev. Even the commentators sold how Rusev seemed to be surprised Ryder was putting up this much of a fight. Hell they even had him almost break out of the Accolade, so Rusev had to basically rape the poor bastard just to make him tap out. Damn good stuff.

Match Rating – Solid B-

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens

As good as this match was, and it was pretty great, I feel like this match being booked as their “final encounter” would’ve made more sense if one of them was actually drafted to SmackDown. Hell, they’ve even had a RAW match since so they’ve already gone back on the claim. Regardless this match was damn good. I was honestly shocked to see that apron brainbuster spot.

And yes, I did audibly say “BRAAAAAAAAAINBUSTAAAAAAAAH!” because of course I did. Shut up. Don’t judge me. Must admit I was also surprised that Sami actually won the match. But it did seem to take two Helluva Kicks to keep Owens down, so he didn’t really come out of this looking weak, which is nice.

Match Rating – Solid A+

Natalya vs. Becky Lynch

The crowd was kind of dead and damn am I tired so I probably missed certain things in this match, but overall I thought it was ok. Nattie working Becky’s leg for most of the match was cool, though of course there were moments where Becky kinda no sold the leg work to hit some of her moves which kinda bothered me, but not all that much.

Oh also, Natalya fucking won. Holy shit. Honestly didn’t see that coming. To me this legitimised her heel turn. If she’d just lost we would’ve got another tantrum thing post-match and her turning heel wouldn’t have had much of a pay off. So kudos to WWE on that.

Match Rating – Solid C+

WWE Intercontinental Championship match:
The Miz (champ) vs. Darren Young

This match was a lot more technical than I can honestly say I was expecting, which was a nice surprise really. I mean at points certain parts of the crowd tried to get a “boring” chant going, but I was fine with it. The finish was a bit of a mess though. Granted, it was cool to see Darren Young go apeshit for once and just drag Miz to the ground with a Cobra Clutch.

Apparently this was a “Double DQ” finish but I don’t see how. Maryse slaps Bob Backlund then claims Backlund hit her….I’m sorry but how do either of those scenarios result in a DQ for the people in the actual match? Maryse didn’t slap Darren and Bob never touched The Miz. A no contest I could understand since Darren goes apeshit but otherwise it’s just weird.

Match Rating – Solid C

John Cena, Enzo Amore & Big Cass vs. The Club

Very solid secondary main event, and I’m also very glad to see WWE didn’t waste the second Cena/AJ singles match on a PPV like Battleground, because that would’ve been a dumb move in my opinion. Hell their first encounter being Money In The Bank was weird, but I guess it’s had enough big moments to be a PPV where that could make sense.

Regardless the match was pretty good. Enzo & Cass came out of this looking great, as did pretty much everyone else really. I also appreciated that both major fake-out finishes involved someone breaking up the pinfall, rather than AJ & Cena just kicking out of each others respective finishers. Team Cena winning didn’t bother me at all, but mainly because (as I said earlier), both teams came out of this looking great.

I am surprised the final decision involved both AJ & Cena though. I thought they’d have had AJ pin Enzo or Cass; or Cena pin Gallows or Anderson. Interesting way to go about it I guess.

Match Rating – Solid B+

Triple Threat match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship:
Dean Ambrose (champ) vs. Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns

Fairly solid main event, though I really wish they’d saved this specific triple threat for WrestleMania. That said that might be why, as solid as this match was, they didn’t seem to entirely go all out for it. So that was smart. Giving us a taste now for something they can go all out on later.

Dean & Seth teaming up on Roman was kind of funny considering how much the crowd popped for it. That said it also made sense since he was the biggest guy in the match, so it had that going for it too. Though I feel Roman started to stir from that announce table Powerbomb a bit early.

The finish of Roman spearing Seth only for Dean to hit him with Dirty Deeds was about what I expected, and I’m honestly glad that’s the kind of finish they went with. Though I do wish Roman had either got his foot on the rope or Dean had broke up the pinfall when Seth hit Roman earlier with a Pedigree. Can’t win ’em all I guess.

I also generally liked that Dean retained, but mainly because I hate short title reigns. Shane & Bryan’s reaction to the win was honestly pretty funny too; just running around for a bit, and I think high fiving each other as they ran past each other. Good stuff.

Match Rating – Solid A-

Match Of The Night – Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens
Overall PPV Rating – Solid B+

Top to bottom this was the best PPV so far this year. And really? That about sums it up right there. Even if some matches were kind of iffy, nothing was really terrible and there was only one finish that kind of bothered me, but not enough to get me riled up. With that said, I have one more PPV left to cover before I can FINALLY get to Backlash.

As of writing this Backlash has indeed happened, but I was probably going to cover it the day after it happened anyway, so this works out. I will try to get my thoughts on SummerSlam done as soon as possible though. And with that, I’ll see you next time folks.

Fyreharticles: Hell In A Cell 2013 Review


(Fan poster created by deviantART user sebaz316)

Hello everyone, and welcome to another PPV review by yours truly. This time around, Hell In A Cell. I honestly can’t even feign enthusiasm and I only really just woke up (slept through the PPV) so let’s just get started.

Pre-show match: Kofi Kingston vs. Damien Sandow – Yes, that’s right, Curtis Axel/Big E Langston isn’t the pre-show match. Never fear though, if you cared about that match it did happen on the actual PPV from what they say on commentary, so I’ll get to that later. Pretty meh match in retrospect, though Kofi doing a Hilo off the steps was pretty cool. Sandow wins with a Full Nelson Slam. Ok. I can live with that.

Match Rating: Solid C+ (Figured I’d get a new rating system) – Already forgotten most of what happened and there was only 2 memorable parts of the match anyway, but it was by no means a terrible match.

Writer’s Note: Oh, seems I misheard. Big E’s facing Dean Ambrose for the US Title on the actual PPV, not Axel for the IC Title. My bad.

Cody Rhodes & Goldust (c) vs. The Usos vs. The Shield (Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins) in a Triple Threat Tag Team match for the WWE Tag Team Championships – Wow. Just…wow. This match was AMAZING! AND IT’S ONLY THE SHOW OPENER! Good lord, if this is a sign of things to come, then this PPV may actually be worth it. With this we also get our first “Holy shit!” moment of the night when Cody superplexed Seth to the outside and onto the other men in the match. I honestly didn’t think the spot would happen (as it never seems to for obvious reasons), but damn when it did I legit marked out. I noticed this match actually got a good amount of time to work with; felt like it went for at least 15 minutes. WWE also managed to trick me into thinking The Usos could win, so I tip my hat to them for actually doing that. Cody & Goldust retain after Cody hits Seth with a jumping Cross Rhodes (after almost everyone else had been taken out), and hopefully they get a decent run in before the Usos FINALLY get a run with the belts.

Match Rating: Solid A+++ – THAT is how you open a PPV.

After that match The Miz came out and challenged Bray to a fight, only to get what basically amounted to a “no” from Bray and Luke & Eric show up instead. Kane of all people returns and makes the save, only to Chokeslam Miz anyway. Just goes to show, everybody hates The Miz. Normally I don’t bring up this kind of stuff when talking about PPVs, but this wasn’t an entirely pointless moment so yeah, decided to bother mentioning it.

Writer’s Note: After that we got Fandango & Summer Rae vs. Khali & Natalya. I could NOT be bothered to watch it, so I skipped to the end and noticed that Summer Rae won with a clean roll up. So there you go.

Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Big E. Langston for the United States Championship – This match was alright but nothing overly special. Well, except Big E getting busted open.


(rare to see black WWE wrestlers bleed)

Plus Dean Ambrose getting a bit of that blood on him and not giving a fuck, and Big E hitting Dean with a spear through the ropes. Aside from that it was standard stuff. Big E wins via count out and therefore Dean retains, with Big E. laying out Dean anyway afterwards.

Match Rating: Solid B+ – Mainly for the things I mentioned before.

CM Punk vs. Ryback & Paul Heyman in a 2-on-1 Handicap Hell In A Cell match – Not a terrible match, but since Heyman didn’t even get involved the handicap aspect was completely pointless. I will however say that this match was fairly boring despite being mercifully short. Punk wins off a GTS and then sticks a kendo stick through his tights.

Then climbs up on top of the cell (Where Heyman had been the entire match) and beats Heyman up with it. So Punk wins the feud and hopefully both sides can move on to other things.

Match Rating: Solid C- – Still want the “Heyman Guys” thing to go the way of the stable of clients Heyman had back in late 02/early 03 though.

Los Matadores vs. The Real Americans – Well. Cesaro did that Giant Swing. And Los Matadores won with a tag move. I guess that’s cool. Seriously though, not a bad match, but not a memorable one either.

Match Rating: Solid D- – El Torito surprisingly still doesn’t bother me though

Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. John Cena for the World Heavyweight Championship – This was honestly a pretty good match; not great but good. Cena pulling off a decent Tornado DDT and diving crossbody were some highlights of his stuff, as well as rolling through on the Cross Armbreaker into a an STS (What Cena does is rarely an STF). They keep panning back to Sandow watching, but that doesn’t amount to anything; shame really. Cena wins with the only successful AA of the match and I don’t know whether I care or not. Kind of indifferent on him winning to a degree. I wanted Del Rio to retain, but at the same time the WHC may stop being treated like the IC Title for a while with Cena in its title scene. Cena leaves with Sandow not even so much as coming out to tease a cash in….booooooo.

Match Rating: Solid A+ – Mainly because Cena did pretty well in this match, especially coming off an injury. Props to him for breaking out some new moves.

Writer’s Note: AJ vs. Brie up next….ugh, do I have to watch this? I do? God damn it.

AJ Lee (c) w/ Tamina vs. Brie Bella w/ Nikki Bella for the Diva’s Championship – Wow. That wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be. Brie definitely seems to be making the effort to improve at least going by how this match started. The crowd was kinda dead for them in parts though; I felt both sorry for and laughed at Nikki for having to try for two or so minutes just to get a decent slow clap from the audience. Just goes to show how little of a shit the fans give about the Bella Twins. AJ wins via submission and keeps the belt. Thank God.

Match Rating: Solid C+ – Brie wasn’t terrible and AJ was AJ. Might’ve gone up to a B- had Brie used a Flying Mare.

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton in a Hell In A Cell match for the vacant WWE Championship – Well, we finally got what we wanted at least; a WWE Champion was crowned. The match was pretty good, nothing really mind blowing but it wasn’t terrible. Despite accidentally spoiling it for myself (really should’ve avoided Facebook completely) I was content with the finish. Triple H is Shawn’s best friend, they’ve been hammering that in for weeks to remind us. Of course when Bryan attacks Triple H Shawn would retaliate, that’s what friends do. Plus if that was blatantly supposed to be a heel turn, nobody told Shawn, since he basically sold it like he was thinking “Shit! What have I done?” and my guess is that’s how they’ll play it.

As far as I’m concerned though, this should be the end of Bryan’s WWE Title matches for a few months. He should drop down a rung and feud with Triple H now. But that’s just me, I seriously want to see a Team YES vs. Team “Best For Business” match at Survivor Series. Really though I just want them to not bother putting the belt on Bryan again until they want to give him the belt for a few months. Hell, have him win the Rumble and then win the belt at Mania; that could work if done right.

But as far as this match goes, it wasn’t bad. Could’ve been better in spots but I don’t regret watching it or anything.

Match rating: Solid B+ – And no, I didn’t just give this match that rating because Bryan was in the match.

Overall PPV Rating: Solid B- – Well, the PPV wasn’t complete shit, but I didn’t have any expectations for it to meet. Go figure.

Match Of The Night: WWE Tag Team Championship match – I don’t really need to say much else, just go and watch the match for yourself, even if it’s the only match you watch from the PPV.

Closing Thoughts – Filler In A Cell more like it to be honest. I mean, good on WWE for making Los Matadores/Real Americans a PPV match to help give the tag division more exposure, but it felt more like a SmackDown match than a PPV match. Fandango/Rae vs. Khali/Natalya came outta nowhere and I didn’t bother watching it to spare my sanity. Also I have to say, it’s kind of sad when the match of the night is the opener. It gets your hopes up, only for the rest of the show to crush those hopes.

Good points? Well, ummm, Cena did a Tornado DDT, that was cool. We finally have a WWE Champion again, which was the only hope I had going into this PPV. The fans showed why the Bella Twins shouldn’t be pushed so hard, plus AJ retained. The Usos had a strong PPV showing despite not winning, and the titles didn’t change hands after only recently doing so. Yeah I’d say the outcomes were all pretty satisfying aside from Cena winning the World Heavyweight Championship. I mean, I don’t hate Cena, but if this doesn’t help to make the title relevant again then it’s an entirely pointless run in my eyes.

All in all, this PPV could’ve been a lot worse, but it also could’ve been a lot better too. Was it better than Battleground? Yes, I can safely say that it was, though I didn’t think that PPV was entirely irredeemable either. That’s what low standards will get you folks. Expect nothing and you may get some satisfaction. And with that, I bid you adieu until my next article. I leave you with a sign from the PPV that actually got a laugh out of me.

Night Of Champions 2013 Review

Hello everyone, and welcome to my first ever written wrestling review. Alas my family’s computer has essentially snuffed it, so until either the memory is recovered or the hard drive generally fixed so it’ll  start working again (or we just flat out get a new computer), I can’t edit/make/post any videos. As a result, I’ve decided to do some of those “written reviews/articles” I’ve heard so much about. Anyway, Night Of Champions 2013, the PPV absolutely no one with half a brain was hyped for. How did it actually turn out though? Well, let’s get on with the review then.

For the record, I’m skipping the pre-show match because the WWE cared so little for it they decided to essentially put “ads” over it in two places. It wasn’t necessarily bad, but if WWE didn’t care, why should I?

Curtis Axel (c) vs. Kofi Kingston for the Intercontinental Championship – This match was a very nice  surprise. Before the match Curtis had a go at HHH for ignoring Heyman’s pleas to cancel the handicap match, which led to this match being made when HHH pointed out that every title was supposed to be defended. This was honestly a great move, as I had absolutely no idea who was going to win; it really could’ve gone either way and worked. The match itself was pretty damn good, with only one or two botches here and there, fortunately nothing major. Surprisingly I found myself rooting for Axel to retain, so when he did indeed win, with his modified Snapmare Driver, I was actually relieved. I mean, I’m not a HUGE Axel fan, but I do think he’s better than most people give him credit for. God awful on the mic of course, but wrestling wise he’s good. Another nice touch was how Paul Heyman could go from being completely apathetic about the match, to actually giving Axel advice, to being outright paranoid that Axel may lose. And even when Axel retained the title, Heyman still seemed unconvinced that Axel would be able to hang with CM Punk.

Match Rating: 7/10 – A good opening match that definitely got me pumped for a PPV I didn’t care about in the slightest beforehand. An extra point or two were given due to the fact I had absolutely no idea who was going to win, making the match that much more exciting than it would’ve been normally.

AJ Lee (c) vs. Natalya vs. Naomi vs. Brie Bella for the Divas Championship – As expected this match didn’t really go all that long, though it was longer than most typical Diva’s matches. Granted I stopped and started it a few times so that might be why it felt so short. Anyway, the match itself was pretty good for what it was. Naomi was the stand out woman of the match with half the things she did, though the moment of the match was Natalya getting both Naomi and Brie in a Sharpshooter at the same time. I have never seen that done before, let alone by a female wrestler. AJ Lee retains in the end in what felt like an oddly anti-climactic moment. Though I guess it at least meant Naomi & Brie had to actually sell the double Sharpshooter, so that’s fine I guess. Either way, the match was better than I expected, which was a very nice surprise.

Match Rating: 5/10 – A point was taken off due to the ending feeling a bit anti-climactic. That and because Brie never once did a Flying Mare. The Bella Twins used to do those all the damn time when they debuted; now they NEVER do them? What the hell guys? Also Brie Bella looked like jailbait in that outfit; just putting that out there.

Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. Rob Van Dam for the World Heavyweight Championship – The more I thought about it, the more I realised how much potential this match had, and definitely lived up to it. Plenty of good spots, including Alberto getting his knees up to block the 5-Star Frog Splash and locking RVD in the Cross Armbreaker from the mat instead of standing. There was at least three notable things that could almost be considered botches, but the only blatant looking botch was Alberto either completely missing with the “Back Stabber”, or RVD generally reacting too late and missing Alberto’s knees, landing back first on the mat. The ending…ok yeah I’m probably in the boat of people calling BS on it, but it made sense. RVD/Del Rio is going to continue so RVD gets the DQ win but no title, and neither man gets pinned or taps out. If this was their “feud ender” then I’d be more annoyed, but it didn’t really bother me too much. If it did, it was one of those cases where the match was going so well that the DQ finish kind of wrecked it a bit. Either way, the match was good; and the post-match Van Terminator after Del Rio tried attacking RVD was a nice touch.

Match Rating: 8/10 – This didn’t really have any points taken off, since I don’t think I would’ve given it a nine. However it was held back a bit by the DQ finish, despite me not really having much of an issue with it.

The Miz vs. Fandango – To be perfectly honest, the only thing worth mentioning about this match is that Fandango pulled out a Falcon’s Arrow; that move doesn’t get used in WWE nearly enough. Not a terrible match, but it was extremely forgettable.

Match Rating: 4.5/10 – Miz won by the way

CM Punk vs. Curtis Axel & Paul Heyman in a No DQ Elimination Handicap match – I had no expectations going into this match. Honestly? That was probably a good thing, because this wasn’t necessarily a great match. It was good for what it was (and over-gimmicked way of getting Heyman into things), but it was by no means great. Regardless I did enjoy it. Axel not being completely squashed by Punk was nice. It made sense that Punk would get passed Axel in the end, unless Heyman had gotten involved to save himself, which I’m kind of surprised didn’t happen, given the “thrown-on-at-the-last-minute” No DQ stipulation. Heyman got the beating of his life, and I’ll be damned if most of those screams weren’t legitimate. Punk didn’t seem to be holding back at all with his kendo stick shots, especially after having handcuffed Heyman at one point, and it was kind of hard to watch or listen to after a while.

I figured if Heyman & Axel won that a run-in would happen, even if it was just Axel coming back in. But I can tell you right now, I had absolutely no idea the run-in would’ve been Ryback. Yet another nice surprise; and Ryback showing up allowed the table to finally get used. Due to Ryback’s involvement Punk loses, and Heyman remains undefeated as far as being involved in multi-man matches in the WWE goes, having defeated the likes of The Hardy Boyz (pinning Jeff Hardy specifically), RVD, and Eddie Guerrero; with CM Punk now being added to that list. Clearly Paul Heyman should be WWE Champion by now.

Match Rating: 6/10 – Yes. This match has a lower rating than Axel/Kingston. Deal with it, that was a better overall match.

Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler for the United States Championship – Oh, for a second there when The Shield’s music hit I thought we were getting the Tag Title match. I honestly had no idea this match was happening. Then again, aside from having boycotted RAW, I’ve been unintentionally missing SmackDown a lot lately. This was a relatively short match, and despite not being terrible, nothing much to write home about. Granted the roll-through Ziggler did after Ambrose locked him in a full nelson, turning it into a pinfall, was pretty interesting. That’s about it though. Oh, and Ambrose wins…thank God.

Match Rating: 5/10 – Relatively short and forgettable, but not as forgettable as The Miz vs. Fandango.

The Shield (Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins) (c) vs. The Prime Time Players (Darren Young & Titus O’Neil) for the WWE Tag Team Championships – This match was actually better than I expected it would be, despite also being relatively short. I mean, it wasn’t great, but I did enjoy it and it was definitely worth watching. That’s about all I can say though, not much else to really point out. Reigns & Rollins pick up the win and retain the belts after Roman spears the hell out of Titus when the referee was distracted. I am ok with this. I’m a fan of both teams anyway so either result would’ve been fine for me.

Match Rating: 6/10 – Bugs me that it was so short, but they did the best they could with the time given, and the ending didn’t feel like a cop out.

Randy Orton (c) vs. Daniel Bryan for the WWE Championship – To be perfectly honest with you, this match did not live up to the hype. Like every other match it wasn’t terrible, but aside from a few big bursts from Bryan the rest was pretty standard fair for these two. The main interesting thing was Scott Armstrong managing a fast count. Like, wow, Scot Armstrong? Possibly the slowest ref in WWE managed a fast count? Just, wow. Also, this match will go down in the history books as containing the FASTEST referee change I’ve ever seen in my life. Seconds after Scott Armstrong goes down, a new ref shows up out of nowhere. That like…never happens. Or if it does, it’s usually a pretty rare occurrence. In any case, Bryan manages to pull out the win after Armstrong fast counts. Not that that’ll necessarily amount to anythi-oh.

Well…ummmm…yeah I got nothing.

Match Rating: 6/10 – Had some decent hype, and wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t as good as I thought it would be.

Overall PPV Rating: 6.07/10 – Worth at least one watch, but overall this is a PPV you wouldn’t necessarily feel bad about missing.

Match Of The Night: Rob Van Dam vs. Alberto Del Rio – This is going purely by the ratings I gave the matches by the way. Considering this match got the highest rating from me, it ended up being match of the night. I’d say it is pretty accurate though in any case.

Final Thoughts: I went into this with low expectations; and even though it surpassed those low expectations, the overall PPV was still pretty mediocre. The Punk match was nothing special; the main event was alright but could’ve been better, and generally I bet this PPV will be forgotten about fairly quickly, especially due to the main event’s outcome being rendered void the next night. If you haven’t watched it yet, I still suggest you give it a watch; if anything just to form your own opinion on the show. If you have seen the PPV, what are your thoughts? Do you agree with my opinion? Or do you think I’m incredibly wrong and need to be raped by a giant gorilla because of it? Hopefully the former, but I’ll leave it up to you guys.