Fyreharticles: Ranking Tarantino (Least Favourite Film To Favourite Film)

I’ve toyed with this idea before in my head, and I’ve decided to go ahead with it. Without wasting too much of your time, I’ll dive right into this one…..after a bit of clarification anyway.

I’d like to point out that, aside from this obviously being my own personal opinion, this is only counting movies Tarantino directed; not simply wrote. As such, you won’t see True Romance (a movie I still haven’t seen regardless) or any other movies like that on this list. You also won’t see Four Rooms (another one I haven’t seen yet), as he technically only directed a section of the movie, rather than the entire thing. So, with that out of the way, let’s get on with the list.

No. 7 (aka “Least Favourite”) – Death Proof

Fairly easy pick for “least favourite” to be honest. This movie is pretty forgettable in my opinion. I know this is technically one half of a double feature, but I don’t think watching Planet Terror would improve this much. Mind you, I don’t hate the movie at all, just the ending is lame. This is one of the few movies I’ve ever seen where I thought the ending must’ve been a fake out, as I was still waiting to find out what happened to Mary Elizabeth Winstead’s character. Like, what the hell Tarantino? The last time we see her, her friends have basically handed her over to a horny redneck who probably raped the living hell out of her off screen for all we know. And her friends don’t seem to give a shit either. I honestly kind of lost all sympathy for these characters when I realised that. Hell, the ending itself is very anti-climactic. It generally seems like it should go on a bit longer, but it just ends abruptly and left me thinking “……that’s it? Really?”

The acting wasn’t terrible by any means, but again, this movie is probably the only Tarantino movie I would advise you to skip if you haven’t already seen it. Not to say you shouldn’t if you’re curious. If you are, go ahead, you may like it more than I do; that’s how opinions work. But for me, this is easily my least favourite Tarantino movie, and the only easy one to really place. Well, aside from…

No. 6 – Inglorious Basterds

Now, I have no issues with this movie. In fact, the only Tarantino movie I have issues with is Death Proof; hence why it got the bottom spot. But compared to the other movies on this list, this ranks very low for one specific reason. “Rewatchability”. To me, out of the six of these that I do like, Inglorious Basterds is the one I re-watch the least amount comparatively. It’s not a bad movie, but for some reason I only really re-watch it when I’m not in the mood to watch the other five above this (Granted I don’t own Django on DVD, so I’ve only seen it about twice or so).

The performances are all solid, especially Brad Pitt, who is the funniest (and ugliest) I think I’ve ever seen him in anything. Like, wow, here’s a guy I never thought I’d see in a Tarantino movie, and it ends up working out really well. The standout performance is easily (in my opinion) Christoph Waltz as Hans Landa. Christoph seems to disappear into the character so well that I find it to be a shame I didn’t know he existed before this movie. Easily one of the best actors Tarantino’s ever worked with, which would explain why he brought him back for Django Unchained.

I honestly don’t have anything else to say about this movie, but I guess I’ll clarify again that I don’t think this movie is necessarily bad in any way, just not as good as the movies I’ve ranked higher than it on this list.

No. 5 – Reservoir Dogs

Something tells me I’m going to get negative feedback for this not cracking the top three, but that’s why personal opinion exists. I do think this is a solid movie, as is every other movie on this list (aside from Death Proof anyway), but as good as this movie is, nothing much really happens. And no, I’m not bagging the “heist movie without the heist” gist of the movie; in fact I think that’s what helps make this movie stand out so much. I guess for all the great Tarantino dialogue, the simplicity of the plot ended up hurting it a bit as far as placement in this list. And I know, simplicity is a silly thing to go by when you’re talking Tarantino plots, but still.

Again, I love this movie, but like with Inglorious Basterds I just don’t seem to want to watch it over and over again, which ended up hurting it enough to land it in fifth place. But if that isn’t enough for you to hate me yet? Oh boy, are you going to hate me when we get to number four.

No. 4 – Pulp Fiction

Told you so. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “CRUCIFY HIM! CRUCIFY HIM!”.

Kakashi (aka the guy being crucified): Me
The many Itatchi pictured (Everyone else): You

But please, allow me to beg your indulgence for a moment (finally, an excuse to say that). First off, yes, Pulp Fiction is a great movie, but this isn’t a list of which is the best, it is about which one I happen to like more than the others. And I can tell you right now, even if this had ended up higher, it would NOT have been number one. As good, hell, as fucking GREAT as Pulp Fiction is, I once again surprisingly don’t watch this as often as I watch the number one spot. In fact I’m rarely in the mood for Pulp Fiction, which is odd. I mean, aside from the rape stuff it’s a very enjoyable movie, so why don’t I watch it more often? God knows I currently have enough free time to watch it several times a day.

Part of it may be I purposely don’t want to overwatch it, as it may ruin the charm of the movie somehow, which could be right. There have been plenty of movies that I watched once a day when I was younger (Spaceballs being the main one), and after a while I just wouldn’t watch the movie for ages before finally watching it again. That said, as fun as the movie is, I don’t consider it to be Tarantino’s best story. And to be honest, that’s another way I ranked this; which movies’ plots interest me the most. Which leads us to number three.

No. 3 – Django Unchained

As of writing this article, this is the last movie Tarantino has released to date, and I knew practically nothing about it going in, which I think helped. It was great to see Christoph Waltz again, and basically playing the polar opposite of his character from Inglorious Basterds. If I had to pick, I’d say I prefer Christoph’s performance in this to Inglorious Basterds. I mean, sure, he’s the best thing about that movie, but in this his performance seems more real as he does appear to be a genuinely nice guy. Oh, I’ve only been talking about Christoph haven’t I? My bad, I’ll try to talk about something else.

Aside from a solid cast this movie also has one of the few romance plots I actually care about. Most usually seem tacked on, and even when they are the main focus I usually don’t like those kinds of movies. Django Unchained, however, manages to pull off the “never ending quest to save his wife” gimmick quite well. Not surprisingly, putting this story in a time period of the USA where slavery was still legal actually helps ramp up the tension; especially near the end where the ruse is figured out by Samuel L. Jackson’s character. I must admit that when I first saw this movie and it gets to the part where they’re about to castrate Django, I was on the edge of my seat. This is a Tarantino movie. That could’ve actually happened. Thank God it didn’t though, that would’ve been hard to sit through (like the rape scene in Pulp Fiction).

As far as the stand out performance goes, I’d have to go with Leonardo DiCaprio as Calvin J. Candie. Anyone who can be so in-the-zone when acting that accidentally cutting up their hand doesn’t faze them, and it actually helps to make their performance even more menacing, is a great actor in my book. Goes without saying though that there wasn’t a single terrible performance in this movie. Great acting, an interesting story and a scenario you’d think Tarantino would’ve exploited long before he finally did is what mad Django Unchained move into the number three spot.

No. 2 – Jackie Brown

Huh, the “other” Tarantino Blaxploitation homage movie is also in the top three. Odd. Anyway, I honestly don’t care if you disagree with me or not, I think Jackie Brown is one of the most solid stories Tarantino has ever told on film. I’m not saying all the other movies are necessarily bad plot/story wise, but the more I think about it the more I start to realise just how underappreciated this movie must be. Before Christmas back in 2012 I had never heard of Jackie Brown. I’d at least heard of Death Proof, but I’d never EVER heard anyone talk about Jackie Brown. And after seeing it several times I only have one question. Why?

Why in the hell had I never previously heard about this movie? This is a GREAT movie, and probably the most underrated of Tarantino’s movies. That being said, me considering this to be underrated is NOT what allowed it to place so high. And no, I didn’t place it this high as a joke or to piss people off (This is my opinion remember). This placed so high because I was actually invested in what was going on. Most of the other Tarantino movies are fun, and you go along for the ride, but I’ve noticed I’m never invested in what’s going on. When Vincent dies in Pulp Fiction I really don’t care. Aside from the torture scene in Reservoir Dogs (which is still hard to watch) I don’t have any sort of emotional reaction to anything.

Jackie Brown however? I’ve found I really did become emotionally invested in what was going on the first time I watched it, and to this day it still bugs me that Max Cherry and Jackie don’t end up together. But in an odd way I do actually like that ending. It’s not entirely happy, but it’s not depressing either. It actually seems like a very realistic ending. They essentially admit they have a thing for each other, but Max doesn’t get the chance to run away with Jackie because she leaves before he makes up his mind. I like to think he went after her anyway or they met up again when she gets back from Spain, but still, as far as the movie goes they don’t end up together.

Aside from nit-picky stuff I won’t bother to mention (well, aside from the “they don’t end up together” thing) this movie is pretty much perfect. A great cast coupled with arguably the second best story Quentin Tarantino has ever produced. It almost makes me want to see Tarantino make more adaptations.

No. 1 – Kill Bill (Vol. I & II)

No matter where everything else was placed, Kill Bill was easily going to be in the top spot. It never occurred to me to separate both volumes on this list by the way. Had I done so, this list wouldn’t have changed much. “Kill Bill Vol. I” would’ve been in the number two spot, and “Kill Bill Vol. II” would’ve been in the number one spot (thereby pushing everything else down a spot), and that’s it. Kill Bill gets the number one spot for several reasons. For one thing, Kill Bill is legitimately my favourite thing Quentin Tarantino has ever done. Secondly, I didn’t just become emotionally invested in these movies, I became completely immersed in the story’s universe. I’ve watched these movies more times than any of the other Tarantino films combined.

I’m never not in the mood to watch these movies, and I always feel that once I watch Vol. I, I have to watch Vol. II, whether that’s immediately after the movie ends or the next day. Kill Bill Vol. II HAS to be the next movie I watch. If that’s not enough, Kill Bill has actually influenced me to want to write my own revenge story. There are other influences, but Kill Bill is easily the main one. If it ever saw the light of day I would never deny that Kill Bill was an influence because I’d be lying through my teeth.

On top of everything the cast is perfect. No, not just great, the cast of Kill Bill is perfect in my eyes. The best example of this is how Michael Parks plays two completely different characters in both movies, and I never noticed until watching a “Making Of” extra on the Kill Bill Vol. II DVD. In film one, Michaels Parks played the Texas Ranger Earl McGraw. In film two he played Esteban Vihaio, the retired Mexican pimp. It’s still hard to believe that that’s true, as I honestly couldn’t tell Esteban was being played by a white guy in heavy makeup. I really did believe the actor legitimately had some sort of Latino heritage. I’ll stop now so I don’t go on for days, but long story short I absolutely LOVE every single thing about the Kill Bill movies, and that’s why they get the number one spot.

So, what do you guys think? Would your list be similar to mine? Exactly the same? Completely different? Please let me know in the comments, as I am genuinely intrigued as to how other people would rank the Tarantino movies.

Fyreharticles – My (Current) Top Ten Favourite Anime Opening Themes

Ah yes, anime. From my humble beginnings watching Sailor Moon & Pokémon as a kid, to watching the likes of Hellsing, Trigun & Tenchi Muyo! Ryo Ohki as I got older, it seems like I’ve always had some sort of interest in anime, even before I knew what I was watching was called anime. That said, I may not have the most extensive list when it comes to anime I’ve seen, but regardless I think I’ve seen enough to warrant a list like this. Plus, I wisely threw “current” in the title for a reason, as this list could easily change when I start to watch some anime I haven’t previously seen.

Before I start, two things. First is that, as the name of this implies, this is just purely my opinion on what I liked the most at the moment. This isn’t one of those “these are the best anime opening themes ever” lists, as I think lists like that are bullshit (Specifically when they non-sarcastically try to make their opinion come across as fact ). Second, I was originally going to limit myself to one theme per show, but I ended up with two from the same franchise anyway, so I decided to drop that. Not that it would matter, I could make a list ranking Naruto themes alone there are so many, but I doubt most of them would make the cut anyway.

Well, I think I’ve bored you all enough, now time to actually get to the list! Which, by the way, is in NO PARTICULAR ORDER. Hence the lack of numbers.

A World For Us All (Digimon Frontier English Opening Theme)

I may get a bit of hate for liking this, but I don’t care. This is honestly the best English dub Digimon theme I’ve ever heard. Helps that it was the first NOT to use a version of the original Digimon dub theme, but even then it’s still a good intro song in my eyes. The energy is great, the lyrics are catchy and stick in your head, and it legitimately used to get me pumped to watch the show back when it aired. It was rare that an anime theme could do that for me as a kid, to the point I think it may only have been this and Rock The Dragon that ever actually managed to get me pumped up.

Sadly some people will overlook this because they didn’t like the anime, but whether you liked it or not, I say give it a listen. I’ll also add that you should give the show itself a fair go. I mean, kids who turn into Digimon? Sounds like a cool concept to me.

H.T. (Trigun opening theme)

If I was actually ranking these, this would most likely be at the top. I mean, holy crap. This may be one of the best guitar riffs ever, let alone in something used by/made for an anime. It’s honestly hard to describe why I like this so much. Everything about it just works, and it’s easily one of the most badass anime theme songs in existence. In my opinion anyway.

Kimi Wa Majutsushi (Orphen 2nd Opening Theme)

Good lord, Orphen; that brings back memories. Funnily enough I actually forgot Orphen had a second theme at first. Then when watching it back after finding the series on DVD, it suddenly all came back to me when I got to the first episode to use this theme. I honestly used to prefer the first theme (Ai Just On My Love), but over time I’ve been drawn more to the second theme. I’d even argue the tone fits the anime more than Ai Just On My Love, but both work in their own ways.

If you want to hear the full version of the song, here’s the music video for the song the band that performed it (SHARAM Q) did. Bit of a warning though, they keep randomly cutting back to some muscle dude in speedos posing for like no reason. So if that would put off watching something, my suggestion is just listen to the song and not pay attention to the video itself. You aren’t missing much by only listening to the video anyway.


Hyadain no Kakakata Kataomoi – C (Nichijou 1st opening)

God damn it Nichijou! Why the hell is your first opening theme so damn cute and catchy? Seriously this song alone got me to actually watch the anime….and I had previously NEVER watched an anime before it got dubbed before. That’s how much I liked that song. Well, and this one clip on YouTube where some character continuously says “EEEEEEEEEH?” but still. Only downside to this song I can think of is it doesn’t seem random enough for a show like Nichijou, which seems to be the bastard child of Azumanga Daioh and Pani Poni Dash. For an anime called My Ordinary Life, this is anything but, so you’d think the theme would kind of reflect that. Nope. Unless it does, but the language barrier prevents me from realising it. Which could easily be the case.

One more thing to point out. This song was apparently sung purely by a guy, as in a guy did both the male and female parts of this song. Just a fun fact I found out that I thought I’d share with you.

If you want to hear the full version of the song, please for the love of God drop everything and watch this video. Seriously, just watch it.

Haruka Kanata (Naruto 2nd Opening Theme)


I know this is usually quite a generic pick when it comes to Naruto themes, but Haruka Kanata is honestly my favourite of all the Naruto themes, with GO!!! by FLOW being a close second. I can’t explain it very well, but this theme just basically seems to fit the show the best. But I guess when your show is over 200 episodes long, you’ll want to change up the music every once in a while to keep things interesting.

If you want to hear the full song, I found yet another “people who did the song having done a live-action music video” music videos, so here you go.

Inner Universe (Ghost in The Shell: Stand Alone Complex Opening Theme)

I’ve honestly seen barely anything of GITS: SAC, but I can say this much. This may be one of the most unique anime opening themes I’ve ever had the privilege to hear. A Japanese woman singing in three different languages, and none of them are Japanese (English, Russian & Latin were apparently the languages used)? Yeah, that sounds pretty unique to me. I do mean it when I say this has unique feel to it by the way; I’ve honestly never heard another song like it period. It’s actually part of the reason I got so interested in trying to watch the show when it used to air in Australia. I’ve been meaning to buy the anime on DVD actually, but I haven’t gotten around to it yet (partially due to lack of income).

As before, if you want to listen to the full version, here’s a link to it.

The World (Death Note 1st Opening Theme)


I’m going to go on the record and say that, in my opinion, I think this song is a MUCH better fit for Death Note than What’s Up People by Maximum The Hormone. Don’t get me wrong fellow Death Note fans, I like What’s Up People, but it just doesn’t fit the tone the anime has as well as The World does in my eyes. I’d delve deeper into why I think that, but I may hold off on that to be its own article. I will admit this is another case of me liking the song that seems to be the more popular choice, then gradually changing my mind as time goes on and I hear the song more.

Want to hear the full thing? Got you covered with another “the band that did it” music video.

CRUSH GEAR FIGHT! (Crush Gear Turbo Opening Theme)

Oddly enough, the English dub of Crush Gear Turbo (at least as aired in Australia) could never make up it’s mind which version of the song to use. Sometimes they used the inferior English dub version of the song that felt like there was crap all energy behind it most of the time, or they’d use the high energy Japanese version, which I grew to absolutely love, to the point I’d find myself singing along at points recently, mumbling when I couldn’t catch on to whatever they were saying in Japanese, and probably butchering what Japanese I could get right.

I actually may have only properly heard the Japanese version of Crush Gear Fight due to attempting (and failing) to find the English version, giving in and just growing to love the awesomeness that is the original version of the song.

Want to hear the whole thing? I got your back.

Butter-Fly (Digimon Adventure 01 Japanese Opening Theme)

And thus you see why I went against picking one theme per show. I mean, technically since we’re talking about two completely different Digimon seasons/shows I could’ve just gone with the rule and said this was fine, but I decided to just drop the rule so I didn’t have to make the old “ok I cheated” gag. I honestly have only heard this a few times, but majority of those few times I got chills somehow. That alone bumped this up to almost immediately being one of my favourites; hence it’s in this top ten list. I would honestly much prefer to listen to this over the English dub theme for Digimon Adventure 01 (or 02 for that matter, since they don’t really change the English dub theme much for that).

I’m not entirely sure why, but I get a very clear vibe of the Japanese DBZ theme Cha-La Head-Cha-La from this song at certain points, to the point I started switching between the two when I got this song stuck in my head. That’s not a knock on the song though; anything that gets Cha-La Head-Cha-La stuck in my head is good in my book.

Once again, if you want to hear the full version of the song, here it is.


Soramimi Cake (Azumanga Daioh opening theme)


Thank God I specified this is in no particular order. Considering some of the themes on this list, if this was legit the #1 I may get lynched. Anyway, like the Nichijou theme earlier, this is another case of a song being just too damn cute for its own good. If you aren’t convinced, the band who performed this is apparently called Oranges And Lemons……..Oranges And Lemons people, how much cuter do you get? I mean damn, the song is cute enough already without that little factoid.

I’ve honestly always enjoyed the Azumanga Daioh theme since I first heard it, despite how blatantly “Bubble gum Pop” it sounds. But hey, I liked the English dub Cardcaptors theme as a kid, so go figure. Basically, this theme is what it is. An innocent song for a seemingly-innocent-but-not-really anime.

That’s all for now folks, but if you want to hear the full version of Soramimi Cake (and I know you do), then here’s one last link for those who want it.


Fyreharticles – Five Things I Liked About Arkham Origins

Warning: The following contains spoilers for Batman: Arkham Origins. If you are yet to play or complete the game and take issue with spoilers, don’t read ahead.

As I said in the previous article, I DID actually enjoy the game overall despite the things I mentioned, so on the flipside of the issues I had, here’s some things about Arkham Origins I actually enjoyed.

1 – Bane

Bane may be my favourite character from this game, simply because it finally felt like the Bane everyone kept telling me about. When Joker tells him to go away, he stays, concluding that Batman would come to Joker, and so it made sense to stay with him. Later after your first encounter with Bane, police helicopters show up, and after fending some of them off, Bane makes the decision to leave as the place is “getting too hot”. It turns out later Bane has even discovered that Batman is Bruce Wayne, causing Bruce to flip and destroy the evidence Bane had assembled in his hideout, attempting to get to Alfred before Bane, only for Firefly attacking a bridge to cause a distraction.

Near the very end of the game, Bane even seems to outsmart Batman, forcing Batman into a situation where it seems he needs to either kill Bane or cause The Joker’s death by allowing Bane’s heart rate to go up too high. Batman manages to find a way out of it, but he had to actually think his way out of it, not just muscle his way out of it. Hell, the game even EXPLAINS why Bane doesn’t seem as smart after the events of this game, with the TN-1 Bane uses as a last resort (turning him into “HULK SMASH” Bane) effectively giving him brain damage, which also works as a way around how Bane wouldn’t remember that Bruce is Batman. All things considered, I feel that Arkham Origins may have the best portrayal of Bane I’ve seen in a Batman adaptation.

2 – Anarky

The more I thought about it, the more it made sense to me that Anarky would show up early in Batman’s career. The reason being Anarky is essentially what Batman could’ve been like if he hadn’t gone down the path he did. I mean, sure, it may seem odd that a trust fund baby would become an anarchist, but weirder things have happened in the DC Universe. Ra’s Al Ghul is another villain people seem to say Batman could have ended up like had he not turned out the way he did, and they’d be right, but Anarky honestly seems more likely, as Bruce may never have gotten the training he did when it relates to fighting.

The fact that Batman can’t entirely disagree with Anarky is also interesting. He doesn’t disagree with his cause, just his methods. After you defeat him, Anarky himself even says he could become Batman’s protégé, eventually rejecting the notion when he decides that Batman must think he’s better than everyone else, and “beyond reproach”. Another reason Anarky makes sense to be in Arkham Origins is simply the entire set up of what Gotham is like at the time, corrupt as hell. If Anarky is going to exist, it makes sense he would get his start when it actually made sense to do so.

On top of all that, his final monologue after you defeat him lasts for a few minutes, but is actually worth listening to.

3 – Alfred’s “Death”

At one point in the latter half of the game, Bane decimates the Bat Cave whilst Batman is busy stopping Firefly, with Batman speeding back to Bat Cave to find Alfred after Bane taunts him about what he’s done. When Batman makes it back, he finds Alfred near death, and comforts him, only for Alfred to die in his arms.

Batman’s reaction to Alfred’s death goes a little like this.

Not willing to allow his butler/father figure to die, Batman uses the tech he stole from Electrocutioner’s corpse (still a dick move, but it did come in handy) to bring Alfred back to life. I must admit, the moment when Alfred came back to life actually made me tear up a bit. Like, you KNOW they can’t kill off Alfred in a prequel, but with the way they executed him dying and being brought back, I couldn’t help but be affected by it. Great writing/acting there.

4 – Harleen, Not Harley

When I found out Harley was in this I became worried; but thank the all mighty Video Game Gods that she was Harleen Quinzel the entire time. I was so worried they would’ve made her Harley, and honestly it would’ve been way too soon, especially since, Jesus, she should’ve been like a teenager at this point (aka Batman’s early years) shouldn’t she? Then again, different continuities allow for this sort of thing I guess.

Also despite being annoyed that Joker turned out to be the main villain, I can’t deny that the entire part where The Joker meets Harleen for the first time was VERY well done.

5 – The Post-Credits Tease


I gotta say, as someone who doesn’t even follow the comics, this tease potentially being for an eventual Suicide Squad game had me pretty hyped. Nothing much else to say honestly, it speaks for itself.

I’ll see you guys next time.

Fyreharticles – Five Issues I Have With Arkham Origins

Warning: The following contains spoilers for Batman: Arkham Origins. If you are yet to play or complete the game and take issue with spoilers, don’t read ahead.

I actually finished playing Arkham Origins a while ago, so I apologize that it took this long to do the follow up. Anyway, Arkham Origins was an overall enjoyable game, however, there were still some things that bugged me. Some more than others, to the point some are just nit-picks or fan bias, and others are things I get more annoyed than I probably should. So, here are at least five issues I have with the video game Arkham Origins.

Issue 1 – Not Enough Mad Hatter

Seriously guys what the hell? What happened? We get the promise of “Mad Hatter playing a bigger role than he did in Arkham City”, but there was still only one side-mission to complete for him. Granted yes, it was longer than his Arkham City appearance…but “his side-mission is longer” seems like a bit of a cop out when they said he’d play a bigger role. I mean, I wasn’t expecting him to be involved in the main plot, but the least they could’ve done is given Hatter more than one side-mission for us to play through. Not too hard to do either, just say he’s kidnapped several girls he thinks could potentially be Alice, not just that one teenager……at least I think she’s a teenager. If not a young woman.

Oddly enough, if they hadn’t claimed he’d play a bigger role this wouldn’t even BE an issue. But they did, and I take the result as false advertising, and thus here we are.

Issue 2 – The “Enigma” Side-Story Ended With An Anti-Climax

Might’ve been my own expectations just being too high, but the Enigma/Riddler storyline really did seem to just end on a whimper. It appears to end when you’ve destroyed his network relays, since after that he never talks to you again, even when you’ve found all the data. You unlock the secret room in his “hideout”, and all you really get as a reward is a Riddler trophy. Really? That’s it? We spend God knows how long finding all those data packs to open the room, but all we get is a lousy Riddler trophy? We don’t even get to meet Enigma/Riddler in person like we did in Arkham City? Again, this may just be my expectations going a bit high, but even the Arkham Asylum Riddler Trophy side-mission has a better ending than this did.

Issue 3 – Batman: Corpse Raider

At one point in the game, The Joker decided to kick The Electrocutioner out of a (God knows what story) window to his death, because The Electrocutioner was too busy playing games on his phone to listen to whatever The Joker was rambling on about. What does Batman do? Well, I’ll tell you what he doesn’t do. Respect the dead. Batman outright steals Electrocutioner’s tech to use as his own.

I mean, sure, Electrocutioner won’t be using those any time soon (unless someone gets him to a Lazarus Pit real quick), but it’s still raiding a dead guy’s corpse. Gotham’s saviour ladies and gentlemen. He won’t kill anyone, but hey, if they happen to die he’ll make sure their stuff goes to a “good home”.

Issue 4 – Tracey Buxton

Just…..Tracey Buxton. I mean, why does she even exist? Candy on her own was better and she appeared much less. She looks like she couldn’t decide what decade her look was supposed to be from (Punk-ish hairstyle with a Beetlejuice-like suit) and she has one of the most forced Cockney (?) accents I’ve ever heard in my life. Like, wow, Nolan North’s Penguin voice isn’t great either, but I’ve gotten used to it. Tracey sounds like someone from the US trying to mock someone from England. AND THAT CHARACTER IS SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY BE ENGLISH…I THINK!

Issue 5

(My ACTUAL reaction wasn’t so much anger as disenchantment but you get the idea)

Seriously, this is the biggest disappointment I’ve probably ever had playing an Arkhamverse game. They build up and advertise Black Mask as the main villain, but what’s that? It’s actually Joker disguised as Black Mask? Oh. Well, that kind of sucks honestly. I get they were just trying to trick us, but come on guys. Like, did this ruin the overall experience for me? No, but it made me enjoy the game less knowing that the only true encounter you have with Black Mask is a side-quest. I do like that they actually have him technically stick around to BE a side-quest, rather than just tossing him out like nothing happened, however it is still frustrating to see Black Mask get shafted like that. Black Mask as the main villain could’ve been very interesting, and was, right up until they decided they’d screw with us.

Batman has a VAST Rogue’s Gallery, and they can’t help but make Joker the main focus of ALL THREE GAMES so far? Come on. Why couldn’t Joker just be a side-villain? Or, you know, you could’ve NOT advertised Black Mask as the main villain and just have it be Joker from the outset. It still would’ve been annoying honestly, but it would’ve been a lot less annoying. And really, less annoying is all I ask. Isn’t making things “less annoying” what America is all about?

Wait, what? This game was made by WB Games Montréal? Oh, well then, now I know what to do about this.

I’ll see you guys next time with things I actually liked about Arkham Origins.

Fyreharticles: Survivor Series 2013 Review

Survivor Series 2013 poster

Well, it’s come and gone so here we go, my review of the 2013 Survivor Series PPV. This is being done as I watch it online by the way. Just thought I’d clarify that. Before I start though, I would like the point out two things. One is that the theme song for this PPV is complete shite. Second, what the hell is up with the Survivor Series logo? It seems like the “VIV” either wouldn’t light up properly or aren’t supposed to. See this is what happens when you do a set up like that WWE. Next time make it the whole thing across, or actually check that shit before the PPV starts.

Can’t entirely blame them for that I guess, but still, it looks like a rundown hotel sign. Anyway, on to the PPV.

Classic 5-on-5 Survivor Series match: Team Racial Equality (Cody Rhodes, Goldust, Jimmy & Jey Uso, and Rey Mysterio) vs. Team Believe In The People/Team Real American Justice (Take your pick) (Shield & Real Americans) – Well, this match definitely didn’t disappoint. Odd that they opened the show with the match most people only wanted to see, but ok. Was kind of annoyed when it got down to 2-on-5 with the heels being down so much, mainly cause I dreaded a clean sweep, but then I realised that was purely to help Roman get over as a monster by destroying most of the face team. I can live with that.

I marked out so hard for most of the Roman eliminations, especially the final elimination where Roman caught Rey with a Spear as he was trying for the 619. That was great because it looked so damn impactful. Helps that Rey ran into it, but regardless it was pretty great. Not much else to say really.

Match rating: Solid A+ – Good way to open the PPV.

Big E. Langston (c) vs. Curtis Axel for the Intercontinental Championship – Not a great match but it was pretty solid. Big E. retains and the Big Ending rings true as Axel will probably not be seen on RAW or SmackDown much from now on, thus ending his “big push”. I like Axel, I really do. He can’t talk his way out of a paper bag but I like him. Probably for the best that his push is over now though, as his best matches are usually on Superstars. Granted this was one of his better matches, but still.

Match rating: Solid C+ – Not a great match, but a pretty good effort from both men regardless.

7-on-7 Survivor Series match: Team Reality Show (Brie & Nikki Bella, Cameron, Naomi, Jojo, Eva Marie and Natalya) vs. Team Everyone Else (AJ lee, Tamina, Kaitlyn, Rosa Mendes, Alicia Fox, Aksana & Summer Rae) – I gave subzero fucks about this match going in, but it honestly wasn’t the train wreck I was expecting. Hell, the “dance off” between Summer Rae and….I’m gonna guess Nikki Bella, was actually kind of funny. Better than Cody & Zeb twerking before the opener (Yes, that actually happened). Natalya wins for the Total Divas team, which is honestly the only way I would’ve accepted that team winning. A funny thing to mention is that both Lillian Garcia and the commentators totally forget Natalya wasn’t the only person left on her team. Nikki tagged out, she wasn’t eliminated. I mean, it shows how little an impact the Bellas have that they forgot, and it is kind of funny, but Nikki has been improving lately and due to Total Divas WWE has a reason to care about her, so it was a bit odd.

I’m hoping this will lead to a Natalya/AJ title match at TLC in any case. And what would be interesting is if WWE actually gave the Divas one of the gimmick matches to work with. Would help it stand out a bit anyway. Not the ladder or TLC match, but the “Chairs” or Tables matches could be interesting to give to the Divas. Since they rarely use weapons anyway the Chairs match would suffice, but either or.

Match rating: Solid C- – Like the match before it, it wasn’t great. But it surprisingly wasn’t shit either, so that’s a plus.

Mark Henry vs. Ryback – Wow. This match came outta nowhere. Totally didn’t call Mark Henry accepting the challenge Ryback randomly threw out, but I should’ve seen it coming. Mark wins in a short match that was honestly forgettable, aside from Mark either attempting a crossbody, or generally hitting Ryback with something that just ended up looking like a botched crossbody.

Match rating: Solid D+ – Point added for Mark Henry’s return, but it was still pretty forgettable. And honestly, forgettable is worse than bad.

Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena (c) for the World Heavyweight Championship – “Cena wins lol” would normally sum it up, but I give Cena credit for this match. He actually sold the arm several times, including after power he powered out of the Cross Armbreaker. It also looked like Alberto had it won several times, so at the very least it was an even match. Cena wins (lol) with an AA in a nice little exchange where him and Alberto reversed each other’s finishers before Cena was finally successful. Pretty good match, though the most memorable part would have to be Cena hitting a Tornado DDT. It’s not the first time he’s done it, but it was still cool to see.

Match rating: Solid B+ – Wouldn’t call it a great match, but it was still pretty good.

The Wyatt Family (Luke Harper & Eric Rowan) vs. Team ROH (Daniel Bryan & CM Punk) – Wait, this is AFTER the Cena match? Holy shit, WWE must have a lot of faith in this match. Pretty damn good match from these four guys. I honestly think it could’ve gone either way. Almost wanted Luke & Eric to win, but it did make sense to have Bryan & Punk win. I hope this feud isn’t over yet though. A TLC or Tables match between The Wyatt Family & Punk/Bryan would be cool to see next month. Punk & Bryan win with Punk hitting Luke with a GTS, and Luke doing one of the better sells for the move by basically crumbling in place.

Match rating: Solid A+ – Easy contender for match of the night.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton (c) for the WWE Championship – Honestly kind of surprised this is the main event of the PPV, but ok. Nice to see Big Show getting to main event a PPV in a singles match. That doesn’t happen much, if it ever has.

*Actually watches the match*

Oh. Well, damn, this should’ve been switched with the WHC match in card order honestly. That match was better by far. Granted there’s a lot more you can do with Cena/Del Rio than Orton/Big Show, so you know. I mean, wow. Not much actually happens and the crowd really doesn’t give too much of a shit. Considering the match this is following I’m not surprised. Orton retains in the biggest “we saw it coming” moment of the night. Hey, WWE, here’s a tip. If you’re gonna have ANY kind of “interference” happen, don’t hype that none will. When you say something won’t happen, we expect the opposite; especially if you bring it up constantly.

Match rating: Solid D- – Yeah, pretty piss poor main event honestly. Sad considering it’s probably the last shot at the WWE Title Big Show will ever get.

Oh, after the main event Cena comes out and they just have him kind of pose in the ring after a brief stare down like he’s just being a dick and stealing Orton’s spotlight, but really it’s just a half-arsed tease for the title unification match that may or may not be happening at WrestleMania XXX, or some time before then, I don’t know. Please WWE, if that happens, don’t have Orton/Cena. We’ve been down that road before multiple times and it didn’t work. Have Orton drop the WWE title to someone else before you do that. Also you do realise you just spoiled the next few months of PPV title matches with that tease if it goes ahead right? Just checking.

Overall PPV rating: Solid C+ – Not an entirely irredeemable PPV, so it’s worth at least one watch. I wouldn’t buy it on DVD when it comes out though.
Match of The Night: Wyatt Family vs. Punk & Bryan – Had two A+ matches, so I just picked one of the two for this. I stand by it and that’s all I really need to say I think.

Final Thoughts:
It was somewhat better than I expected, but it didn’t blow my expectations out of the water or anything. The main event was a total disappointment, especially since I can remember Big Show & Orton having better matches before. Not necessarily great matches, but matches that were better than this one by comparison. The undercard was surprisingly solid however, and I’m still surprised Punk & Bryan’s match with the Wyatt Family was after the World Heavyweight Championship match. Score one for the “vanilla midgets” I guess. Overall, like I said before, this PPV is worth at least one viewing. If you don’t watch the whole show, then I recommend the 5-on-5 match and the Luke & Eric v Punk & Bryan matches as things you should definitely check out.

That’s about all I can think of currently, aside from a few ramble-y thoughts I decided to leave out (Orton kicking out of the most devastating Chokeslam ever, Luke’s big boot not being a finisher, etc.), so I’ll leave it at that and see you guys next time, which won’t be too long this time, for reals.

Fyreharticles: Hell In A Cell 2013 Review

(Fan poster created by deviantART user sebaz316)

Hello everyone, and welcome to another PPV review by yours truly. This time around, Hell In A Cell. I honestly can’t even feign enthusiasm and I only really just woke up (slept through the PPV) so let’s just get started.

Pre-show match: Kofi Kingston vs. Damien Sandow – Yes, that’s right, Curtis Axel/Big E Langston isn’t the pre-show match. Never fear though, if you cared about that match it did happen on the actual PPV from what they say on commentary, so I’ll get to that later. Pretty meh match in retrospect, though Kofi doing a Hilo off the steps was pretty cool. Sandow wins with a Full Nelson Slam. Ok. I can live with that.

Match Rating: Solid C+ (Figured I’d get a new rating system) – Already forgotten most of what happened and there was only 2 memorable parts of the match anyway, but it was by no means a terrible match.

Writer’s Note: Oh, seems I misheard. Big E’s facing Dean Ambrose for the US Title on the actual PPV, not Axel for the IC Title. My bad.

Cody Rhodes & Goldust (c) vs. The Usos vs. The Shield (Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins) in a Triple Threat Tag Team match for the WWE Tag Team Championships – Wow. Just…wow. This match was AMAZING! AND IT’S ONLY THE SHOW OPENER! Good lord, if this is a sign of things to come, then this PPV may actually be worth it. With this we also get our first “Holy shit!” moment of the night when Cody superplexed Seth to the outside and onto the other men in the match. I honestly didn’t think the spot would happen (as it never seems to for obvious reasons), but damn when it did I legit marked out. I noticed this match actually got a good amount of time to work with; felt like it went for at least 15 minutes. WWE also managed to trick me into thinking The Usos could win, so I tip my hat to them for actually doing that. Cody & Goldust retain after Cody hits Seth with a jumping Cross Rhodes (after almost everyone else had been taken out), and hopefully they get a decent run in before the Usos FINALLY get a run with the belts.

Match Rating: Solid A+++ – THAT is how you open a PPV.

After that match The Miz came out and challenged Bray to a fight, only to get what basically amounted to a “no” from Bray and Luke & Eric show up instead. Kane of all people returns and makes the save, only to Chokeslam Miz anyway. Just goes to show, everybody hates The Miz. Normally I don’t bring up this kind of stuff when talking about PPVs, but this wasn’t an entirely pointless moment so yeah, decided to bother mentioning it.

Writer’s Note: After that we got Fandango & Summer Rae vs. Khali & Natalya. I could NOT be bothered to watch it, so I skipped to the end and noticed that Summer Rae won with a clean roll up. So there you go.

Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Big E. Langston for the United States Championship – This match was alright but nothing overly special. Well, except Big E getting busted open.

(rare to see black WWE wrestlers bleed)

Plus Dean Ambrose getting a bit of that blood on him and not giving a fuck, and Big E hitting Dean with a spear through the ropes. Aside from that it was standard stuff. Big E wins via count out and therefore Dean retains, with Big E. laying out Dean anyway afterwards.

Match Rating: Solid B+ – Mainly for the things I mentioned before.

CM Punk vs. Ryback & Paul Heyman in a 2-on-1 Handicap Hell In A Cell match – Not a terrible match, but since Heyman didn’t even get involved the handicap aspect was completely pointless. I will however say that this match was fairly boring despite being mercifully short. Punk wins off a GTS and then sticks a kendo stick through his tights.

Then climbs up on top of the cell (Where Heyman had been the entire match) and beats Heyman up with it. So Punk wins the feud and hopefully both sides can move on to other things.

Match Rating: Solid C- – Still want the “Heyman Guys” thing to go the way of the stable of clients Heyman had back in late 02/early 03 though.

Los Matadores vs. The Real Americans – Well. Cesaro did that Giant Swing. And Los Matadores won with a tag move. I guess that’s cool. Seriously though, not a bad match, but not a memorable one either.

Match Rating: Solid D- – El Torito surprisingly still doesn’t bother me though

Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. John Cena for the World Heavyweight Championship – This was honestly a pretty good match; not great but good. Cena pulling off a decent Tornado DDT and diving crossbody were some highlights of his stuff, as well as rolling through on the Cross Armbreaker into a an STS (What Cena does is rarely an STF). They keep panning back to Sandow watching, but that doesn’t amount to anything; shame really. Cena wins with the only successful AA of the match and I don’t know whether I care or not. Kind of indifferent on him winning to a degree. I wanted Del Rio to retain, but at the same time the WHC may stop being treated like the IC Title for a while with Cena in its title scene. Cena leaves with Sandow not even so much as coming out to tease a cash in….booooooo.

Match Rating: Solid A+ – Mainly because Cena did pretty well in this match, especially coming off an injury. Props to him for breaking out some new moves.

Writer’s Note: AJ vs. Brie up next….ugh, do I have to watch this? I do? God damn it.

AJ Lee (c) w/ Tamina vs. Brie Bella w/ Nikki Bella for the Diva’s Championship – Wow. That wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be. Brie definitely seems to be making the effort to improve at least going by how this match started. The crowd was kinda dead for them in parts though; I felt both sorry for and laughed at Nikki for having to try for two or so minutes just to get a decent slow clap from the audience. Just goes to show how little of a shit the fans give about the Bella Twins. AJ wins via submission and keeps the belt. Thank God.

Match Rating: Solid C+ – Brie wasn’t terrible and AJ was AJ. Might’ve gone up to a B- had Brie used a Flying Mare.

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton in a Hell In A Cell match for the vacant WWE Championship – Well, we finally got what we wanted at least; a WWE Champion was crowned. The match was pretty good, nothing really mind blowing but it wasn’t terrible. Despite accidentally spoiling it for myself (really should’ve avoided Facebook completely) I was content with the finish. Triple H is Shawn’s best friend, they’ve been hammering that in for weeks to remind us. Of course when Bryan attacks Triple H Shawn would retaliate, that’s what friends do. Plus if that was blatantly supposed to be a heel turn, nobody told Shawn, since he basically sold it like he was thinking “Shit! What have I done?” and my guess is that’s how they’ll play it.

As far as I’m concerned though, this should be the end of Bryan’s WWE Title matches for a few months. He should drop down a rung and feud with Triple H now. But that’s just me, I seriously want to see a Team YES vs. Team “Best For Business” match at Survivor Series. Really though I just want them to not bother putting the belt on Bryan again until they want to give him the belt for a few months. Hell, have him win the Rumble and then win the belt at Mania; that could work if done right.

But as far as this match goes, it wasn’t bad. Could’ve been better in spots but I don’t regret watching it or anything.

Match rating: Solid B+ – And no, I didn’t just give this match that rating because Bryan was in the match.

Overall PPV Rating: Solid B- – Well, the PPV wasn’t complete shit, but I didn’t have any expectations for it to meet. Go figure.

Match Of The Night: WWE Tag Team Championship match – I don’t really need to say much else, just go and watch the match for yourself, even if it’s the only match you watch from the PPV.

Closing Thoughts – Filler In A Cell more like it to be honest. I mean, good on WWE for making Los Matadores/Real Americans a PPV match to help give the tag division more exposure, but it felt more like a SmackDown match than a PPV match. Fandango/Rae vs. Khali/Natalya came outta nowhere and I didn’t bother watching it to spare my sanity. Also I have to say, it’s kind of sad when the match of the night is the opener. It gets your hopes up, only for the rest of the show to crush those hopes.

Good points? Well, ummm, Cena did a Tornado DDT, that was cool. We finally have a WWE Champion again, which was the only hope I had going into this PPV. The fans showed why the Bella Twins shouldn’t be pushed so hard, plus AJ retained. The Usos had a strong PPV showing despite not winning, and the titles didn’t change hands after only recently doing so. Yeah I’d say the outcomes were all pretty satisfying aside from Cena winning the World Heavyweight Championship. I mean, I don’t hate Cena, but if this doesn’t help to make the title relevant again then it’s an entirely pointless run in my eyes.

All in all, this PPV could’ve been a lot worse, but it also could’ve been a lot better too. Was it better than Battleground? Yes, I can safely say that it was, though I didn’t think that PPV was entirely irredeemable either. That’s what low standards will get you folks. Expect nothing and you may get some satisfaction. And with that, I bid you adieu until my next article. I leave you with a sign from the PPV that actually got a laugh out of me.

Why I Think The Joker Should NOT Be In Arkham Origins

Oh yes, you did read that correctly. I honestly don’t think The Joker should be in Batman: Arkham Origins. Don’t get me wrong, I love The Joker, but I’m not blindly going to get something because The Joker is in it. Also I’m not saying they should take him out last minute or anything, or generally saying they should undo all of their hard work; though I will concede that this is basically “he never should’ve been in it in the first place”. I also will make a follow up article after I have played the game stating whether I hold true to this opinion, or if the game has made me change my mind. Remember, this is written having not played the game yet, so my opinion could easily change once it’s released.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand exactly why The Joker seems to be in everything and is everywhere; he’s an iconic villain and the character has earned that spot. However Joker has been the main focus of both previous Arkham games. Sure, he was the main villain in Arkham Asylum, so that gets a pass, however he also hogs the spotlight in Arkham City; a game where the main villain is SUPPOSED to be Hugo Strange (or Ra’s Al Ghul, or both). Don’t believe me? His story ends AFTER the main plot does. I will admit it worked due to how they handled the conclusion of that story, but the fact remains that a sub-plot concluded after the main story.

Now, we come to Arkham Origins, where the main villain is supposed to be Black Mask, which automatically drew me to the game out of curiosity as to how that would play out, with Deathstroke’s inclusion being what sealed the deal for me. But what will most people like me (comic adaptation fans) most likely care about? The Joker is in there! Come on guys! Even Batman Begins didn’t have Joker! Why should this? I get it, I get it…”Joker sells”, fine, but come on guys, if you’re going to include him, make him a flat out side villain with guys like Anarky, or flat out diminish him to a cameo appearance like Mad Hatter got in Arkham City.

Hell, think about it. If they’re trying to “fall back in mainstream known villains”, and that’s their logic for using Joker in every game, guess what? THEY DID A POOR JOB OF THAT IN ASYLUM!

  • Riddler – voice only
  • Two-Face – only verbally mentioned right at the end
  • Mr. Freeze – no verbal mention
  • Catwoman – no verbal mention (Yes I know she isn’t always a bad guy but still)
  • The Penguin – no verbal mention

They didn’t seem too preoccupied with trying to throw in a bucket load of well-known (mainstream wise) Batman villains. Hell, even the biographies in Arkham Asylum are filled with a bunch of villains I had no idea existed at the time (Great White Shark, Tweedledum & Tweedledee, Killer Moth, etc.). Honestly I wish that trend had continued with the Arkham City biographies, but oh well, a man can dream.

Actually, that’s a whole other thing I’d like to bring up. Fine, Joker’s in it. But guess what? I actually find myself being drawn towards EVERY OTHER VILLAIN more than Joker, purely because I don’t know as much about the other villains. Does that mean I’ll necessarily like all of the other villains? No. But to me the unknown is a lot more fascinating in this sort of case. Mad Hatter was a case for this in Arkham City, and he turned out to be one of my favourite villains despite only making a cameo appearance, so I’m excited to learn he’s having a (probably only somewhat) larger role in Arkham Origins. As far as Joker goes though, I honestly do not care about Joker’s storyline at all as of writing this. He wants to blow up a bunch of buildings on Christmas Eve? Seems more like a Calendar Man scheme to me. Seriously, switch out Joker for Calendar Man in that scenario and see if it changes anything. Makes more sense with Calendar Man doesn’t it?

Going along with that, Joker’s sub-plot seems entirely tacked on and pointless to me. Here we’ve got a game where the main plot is that, for some reason, Black Mask has hired eight assassins to try and kill Batman; so Batman has to survive their attacks and find Black Mask, also trying to figure out why this is even happening in the first place. Sounds like a basic, yet strong, story to base a game around to me. If Joker is a major player then it just throws everything out of balance, considering we have NINE main villains already. There are enough characters to focus on without needing Joker as a major player, or even a minor player. Once again, Batman Begins didn’t need The Joker, so why does Arkham Origins? As of now it’s a completely unnecessary addition to an already appealing game in my eyes; whether it’s handled well or not

That aside, I realise I could actually end up being wrong about how large a role Joker even plays in this game. For all I know, he could actually just be stuck in the same boat as Anarky and be a side-mission villain (ala Riddler, Zsasz & Bane in Arkham City), rather than a major sub-plot villain. If that’s the case? Then fine, I won’t mind as much, and I’ll admit that in a follow up article. But as of right now, I firmly believe this game does NOT need The Joker. And I honestly doubt that his story being well done will change that. Whether it does or not, I do intend to do a follow up article.

Does anyone actually agree with me? Do you disagree? Either way leave your opinions below (Negative wise only if you actually have something constructive to say) and I’ll see you all again next time.

Five Reasons To Watch: Law & Order Season 1


Sometime in the last decade (I think specifically when I was still in high school) I bought my mother the entire first season of the original Law & Order for Christmas. I mainly did so because she was and still is a huge fan of the spin-offs, and I figured “well, hey, Law & Order is Law & Order”, so I bought the first season of the original show. It turns out she didn’t really appreciate that as much as I thought she would, so I basically took to watching it myself instead after a while. After watching the season the entire way through, I actually found myself becoming a bigger fan of Law & Order than I already was, giving the original show more of a chance than I (like my mother) previously had.

Since then I have decided the original show is definitely worth watching, and honestly is somewhat underrated compared to its spin-offs Special Victims Unit & Criminal Intent. With that said, here are five reasons why I think you should give, at the very least, the first season of Law & Order a watch. Just a note though, this is mainly directed at fans of these kinds of shows, but even if you aren’t, this still applies to you.

Reason 1: The Acting

The acting in this show is brilliant. From the leads, to recurring and/or supporting cast, to people in small parts you only ever see once or twice. I do not think I have ever thought someone who showed up in this season was a terrible actor. The reason being is every single character comes off as a legitimate person that could actually exist, instead of an actor playing a role. Sure, some of the dialogue occasionally seems like flat out Hollywood-ish dialogue, but it at least makes sense within the conversation, and that’s only very rarely. Majority of the time the dialogue feels genuine, which the actors run with and read in a way that makes it seem even more genuine.

What’s also interesting is that Law & Order, even in this first season, seemed to like reusing actors who’d previously played significant or minor roles in episodes as completely different characters. I would recognise them by appearance, but they were definitely playing a different character. The best example of this is Marcia Jean Kurtz, an actress who appears twice in the first season. In her first appearance (a role in the episode Everybody’s Favorite Bagman) she has a minor role as the grieving, oblivious widow to the titular “bagman” in question. Her second appearance comes in the form of Carla Lowenstein; a psychotic, drug addicted and battered wife of a psychotherapist. Quite the transition right?

Reusing actors aside the entire show comes off more like a documentary because of how the acting is handled, which leads me to my next point.

Reason 2: The Style/Presentation

As I just said, this show feels more like a documentary sometimes than an actual scripted TV show. From what I’ve seen that was Dick Wolf’s intent from the get go, with him even going so far as to film the show’s pilot episode, Everybody’s Favorite Bagman, in 16mm film instead of the standard 35mm it used from then on. Basically you could say the show has a very “docu-drama” feel, which makes sense considering most (if not all) episodes are “ripped form the headlines. The fact that even after the pilot the footage still seems very non-pristine helps this, and I honestly wouldn’t change it. Even the lack of establishing shots actually seems to help the show rather than hinder it.

I mean, you could make the joke that the “location cards” are a bit of a 60s Batman transition way of doing things, but I honestly don’t mind it. In fact, the location cards also help address the fact that there are sometimes significant time skips in the episodes. Sometimes only a few hours are lost, but other times entire days, weeks or months go by between scenes, and the location cards help to point that out in a way they’d otherwise possibly have to ignore, or force into the dialogue.

Aside from that the last thing I would like to bring up in this is simply way the show is presented. In case you weren’t aware, half of the show is dedicated to the police side of things, the other half to the court side of things. The concept isn’t entirely original from what I’ve read (a similar show with only one season existed before this), but Law & Order seems to be the first to follow the DA side of the court proceedings instead of the defence attorneys. Generally I grew to find this an interesting premise; one that would be a lot more glanced over in the spin-offs, which seem to always focus more on the police side than the trials. In any case I think it’s a concept that works, with a style that greatly complements it.

Reason 3: Michael Moriarty as Ben Stone

Ok, ok, I know, I already covered the acting side of things, but mentioning Michael Moriarty on his own can be justified. Hell, if I had to pick a favourite actor from Law & Order season one, Michael Moriarty would have to be it (With George Dzundza as a very close second). The man gives arguably the best performances in majority of the episodes, and his ability to seemingly bring legitimate anger into his character Ben Stone’s prosecutions when necessary is amazing. Apparently I’m not the only one to like him this much, as Dick Wolf has even flat out called Michael Moriarty the heart and soul of the early years of Law & Order, which I’d say is pretty high praise, and something I may actually agree with solely going by this season alone.

The irony of all this praise is that, aside from the 80s horror movie The Stuff (thanks to Cine-Masochist’s review of it), Law & Order is the only thing I’ve ever seen Michael Moriarty in. And I saw him in Law & Order before The Stuff. So basically all this praise is coming from his work on the show alone, and not me being a fan of his acting generally (which I can’t really be due to what I stated). For examples of my favourite Michael Moriarty performances in the first season, check out the episodes “Indifference”, “Life Choice” and “By Hooker, By Crook”.

Reason 4: The Ensemble Cast

Now, technically every incarnation of Law & Order has an ensemble cast. The fact of the matter is however that the original Law & Order actually sticks to that aspect. Special Victims Unit seems to usually focus more on Mariska Hargitay’s character Olivia Benson (with her character also getting the most character-driven storylines), and Criminal Intent mainly seeming to focus on Vincent D’Onofrio’s character Robert Goren before he left the show. The original Law & Order, even from the very beginning, was truly an ensemble cast, with everyone pretty much getting equal screen time unless the episode called for it to be otherwise.

The other benefit of an ensemble cast is that, when the issue arises of one character not appealing to you, there’s plenty more where that came from. Personally I enjoy every main/recurring character from this season, but I can see why people wouldn’t like certain characters.

Reason 5: The Stories

Here’s a list of topics covered in the first season of Law & Order.

  • Rape/Gang Rape
  • Malpractice
  • Racism
  • Corruption (Political & Police)
  • Italian Mafia
  • Russian gangsters
  • Cop killings
  • General child abuse/murder
  • Domestic abuse
  • BDSM culture
  • Mercy killings
  • Revenge killings
  • Abortion

You get the idea right? Basically for the first season of a show, this covers a hell of a lot of ground. The only conclusion I can come to is that, with how difficult it seemed to be to get the show off the ground in the first place, Dick Wolf probably realised the show may only last one season, and decided to throw as much into it as physically possible just in case. Honestly that may even be why this first season is so great. They HAD to put this much effort in to it, or NBC probably wouldn’t have even considered picking the show up for a second season, let alone actually doing so. I must admit I was actually taken aback by how pretty intense the majority of the episodes are.

What do I think is the most intense episode? Indifference. Definitely Indifference. If you manage to watch the whole thing I applaud you. I mean, I have, several times, but it is hard to watch considering some of the stuff that happens in it, and generally the entire subject matter. Hell, if you aren’t used to this show and make it past the opening credits of the episode Mushrooms? Again, I’ll applaud you, because that episode has the darkest ending to a cold opening I’ve ever seen on any Law & Order episode.

Despite being a bit overwhelmed by this revelation though, I must admit it may be what turned me into such a huge Law & Order fan. Law & Order was a show that wouldn’t shy away from things, even when NBC probably wished they would (the episode Life Choice has apparently never been shown in repeats). They pushed the boundaries on purpose and it made for some great stuff, especially when characters would have very realistically angry reactions to things that were brought up. For that I have all the respect in the world for Dick Wolf and the other people behind the show.

So, that’s about it. As I said before the first season of Law & Order pretty much holds a special place in my heart at this point, and I really hope that fans of the later Law & Order run, fans of the spin-offs, and generally people who’ve never even watched Law & Order before give this a read and decide to at least give it a try. Honestly all I hope to achieve with this is to at least get people to consider it, but I’ll obviously be happy to hear if I’ve convinced anyone to actually outright give it a chance somehow. Not expecting anyone to watch it and like it mind you, but if you at least give it a shot, then you’re good in my book.

That’s all for now, I’ll see you guys next time with whatever article I decide to write next.

WWE Battleground Review

(Fan poster created by deviantART user JoKeRWord)

Hello everyone. Since I haven’t gotten around to doing the article I intended to do next yet, that will have to wait. For now? It’s time for another written review of a WWE PPV!

Ah WWE Battleground. The second PPV in a row that the vast majority couldn’t care less about going in, purely because of, say it with me now, poor build up. Hell, as of late I’ve noticed a lot of people saying the WWE has basically been on rinse-repeat mode since SummerSlam, so there seems to be nothing but bad signs going in. However, despite all that, I will be giving this PPV an objective look. There has been plenty of PPVs I’ve seen where I had no/low expectations going in, and ended up actually feeling like I hadn’t wasted my time when it was all over. Was that the case this time? Well, let’s see shall we?

Oh, one last thing. This review is “late” simply because I did not watch the PPV as it happened. Like hell I was going to pay for this PPV, and streams are very untrustworthy these days. So, since I was tired already due to being up all night, I decided to go to sleep and watch the PPV when I woke up. With that out of the way, let’s get star-…wait a minute…


What in the name of hell is that? No seriously, I am legitimately confused by this stage set up. Who the fuck thought this was a good idea? The PPV is called Battleground, where’s the tanks? Where’s the sand bags piled on top of each other to use as cover? Where’s the Army Jeeps? WHERE’S ANYTHING THAT WOULD FIT THE NAME OF THIS PPV? Don’t get me wrong, I know this is a stupid thing to complain about, but for some reason I just can’t help it. This is something you use for a generic PPV no one cares about or that doesn’t have an actual theme. Oh. Suddenly it all makes sense now. Actually wait, no it doesn’t. If WWE DON’T want us to think this is just a PPV we’ll most likely never see again and is just here to fill space it shouldn’t be occupying (considering we have another PPV in like, what, two weeks?), they could at least dress up the stage a bit better than four of those…things. We’re off to a pretty bad start now aren’t we?

Anyway, I should probably finally get started right? Right.

Street Fight for the World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. RVD w/ Ricardo Rodriquez – First off I want to say two things.

1. I will never buy that Lillian Garcia will ever be annoyed by being asked to announce someone in Spanish. Any time someone with even a somewhat Spanish sounding name comes out, she’ll accentuate the hell out of that name. So please, WWE, if you’d be so kind, STOP IT.
2. I refused to call this match by its actual name because its actual name is stupid. That and it doesn’t even appear to be a proper (even by WWE standards) ”hardcore match”, and as such I have called it a Street Fight, since that’s basically what it seems to be anyway

With that out of the way, onto the match itself. And wow, the fans seemed to be far too easily amused during this one. Don’t get me wrong, it was a good match, but I don’t think it deserved the “This is awesome” chants that happened a few times. The spots were alright, but for a match they kept referring to as a “hardcore match”, falls didn’t count outside of the ring and the only weapons we got were a chair, a ladder and a trash can. Doesn’t seem like much compared to some of the No DQ matches WWE has had this year. Ricardo getting involved to help RVD was a nice surprise I must say, you rarely see face managers do that for some reason. Can’t think of any times I’ve seen that anyway off the top of my head. The chair-aided Cross Armbreaker was a nice touch, but when that happened I honestly started questioning how long the match had been going. I know it was the show opener, but it really didn’t feel like it went long enough and felt pretty rushed in hindsight. In any case, Del Rio retains and it seems RVD is out of the title picture and possibly out of the WWE now from what I hear. That would explain the decisive win I guess.

Match rating: 6/10 – Not as good as their Night Of Champions match honestly, but not a terrible match. As I said, it felt rushed and wasn’t much of a “hardcore” match, which is odd considering the men involved. Probably not the best match to open with considering how it turned out. Axel/Kofi got the crowd more warmed up than this match did. Yes, I just said that.

The Great Khali & Santino w/ Hornswoggle vs. The Real Americans (Jack Swagger & Antonio Cesaro) w/ Zeb Colter – A Khali match? Ugh, do I HAVE to watch this? Fine, fine, I’ll give it a chance.

*20 minutes of loading time later*

Ok yeah that was a waste of time. Some decent wrestling from everyone but Khali, but even then this match was extremely short and pretty boring. The only highlight was Cesaro using a Giant Swing on Khali. Guess that makes it the first ever literal Giant Swing. Huh. Anyway, Cesaro & Swagger win because somehow a Giant Swing is enough to beat Khali these days. What. Just. What. I like Cesaro, but that makes this match even worse. He won using a Giant Swing? HE WON! USING A GIANT! SWING!

“That could be the greatest finish in WWE” NO JBL! NO! BAD JBL! BAD! HE WON WITH A GIANT SWING!

Match rating: 3/10 – A FUCKING GIANT SWING!

Curtis Axel (c) vs. R-Truth for the Intercontinental Championship – Not much to say about this match; it was pretty boring honestly. The crowd even started random chants they were so bored (including a JBL chant). The finish was abysmal in the sense it was so anti-climactic. I actually thought Truth was going to kick out to get the crowd going again. Axel retains, no one cares, and the commentators almost immediately shift their attention to talking about the pre-show (which I haven’t watched by the way). All in all an extremely mediocre match from two guys I’d expect more from when paired up.

Match Rating: 4/10 – Not even close to being as good as Kofi/Axel from Night Of Champions.

AJ Lee (c) w/ Tamina Snuka vs. Brie Bella w/ Nikki Bella for the Divas Championship – Ummmmm….the finish was sort of interesting? Tamina actually doing something was interesting? Yeah that’s all I got.

Match rating: 3/10 – Brie took that steel post like a champ though. Oh, and AJ retained by the way.

Goldust & Cody Rhodes w/ Dusty Rhodes vs. The Shield (Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns) w/ Dean Ambrose – Ok. Wow. This match actually lived up to the hype and fan interest surrounding it. Despite knowing from the get go Goldust & Cody would win, this match still entertained the hell outta me; and I was legitimately invested in it the entire time. The crowd definitely helped, especially when they exploded for both Dusty hitting Ambrose with his belt buckle, and Cody winning the match. Not much else to say really. Oh wait, one more thing, Goldust with Darth Maul style face paint was amazing.


Match rating: 9/10 – A great match with great emotion, and a great crowd response

Bray Wyatt w/ Eric Rowan & Luke Harper vs. Kofi Kingston – First things first. WWE, please stop using that stock “We’re here” clip before The Wyatt Family come out. It’s getting old, and we KNOW it’s the same damn thing. Stop it. That aside this was a pretty good little match for something that was basically thrown together at the last minute. Never thought I’d ever see a Crucifix Driver in WWE, and that exorcist thing Bray Wyatt did was creepy as fuck.


Bray gets the win, of course, but thankfully Kofi gets a pretty damn good showing, instead of just getting steamrolled like I thought he might. Thank heavens for small miracles. Also, holy shit, that snap Sister Abigail came outta nowhere.

Match rating: 8/10 – Fairly short, but it didn’t feel rushed and was quite an enjoyable watch.

Ryback w/ Paul Heyman vs. CM Punk – You know, this match was surprisingly good. Not a fan of the finish, but still. I’m actually a fan of Ryback, and this may be the better of his encounters with CM Punk as far as matches go. Seems Punk decided to get revenge for that botched table spot from RAW two weeks ago though by busting Ryback’s jaw open with some shoot elbow strikes. Punk wins because of a low blow, taking advantage of an unintentional distraction Heyman causes. Now, my problem with the finish isn’t the fact that Punk (a face) won with dirty tactics. I mean, come on, it’s CM Punk, it makes sense. My issue is it makes Ryback look weaker than usual and he gains absolutely nothing with this loss.

I stand by my opinion that Ryback should’ve won this match, as it would’ve Punk more to work with leading into Hell In A Cell. There’ll most likely be a rematch anyway, but still, I doubt Ryback will win that rematch.

Match rating: 7/10 – Good effort from both guys, and even though I don’t really like the finish, at least it fits Punk’s character.

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan for the vacant WWE Championship – Great showing from both guys, and guess what? I actually liked the finish. Well, if you can actually call it a finish. The match was never thrown out on-screen so I’m guessing it was still technically going when RAW started. Either way I actually enjoyed the entire match, and even having spoiled for myself the fact the show ended with a still vacant title, I honestly don’t care. Hell, I’m actually HAPPY it ended that way. Now we don’t have to worry about another Bryan reign being cut way too short again for the moment. Plus, this actually furthers two stories at once. All-in-all I honestly think it worked out for the best, and I would NOT change how that PPV ended.

Well, ok, that’s a lie. If I had to change one thing, I’d have them actually announce that the match has been ruled a no contest, rather than just ending like an episode of RAW or SmackDown as if that had been done already. Aside from that I’m quite content with the ending and the overall match.

Match Rating: 8/10 – Good performances, great crowd reaction, and an ending that left me (and probably ONLY me) satisfied.

Overall PPV Rating: 6/10 – Not the best PPV ever, but it’s worth at least one watch.

Match Of The Night: Goldust & Cody Rhodes vs. Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns – ‘Nuff said.

Final Thoughts: Overall this PPV evened out and turned out to be quite watchable. It started off fairly mediocre, but once it hit my MOTN, it managed to stay above the mediocre line for the rest of the show. You could almost say that match actually inspired the guys yet to compete and that’s why. That’s my story anyway and I’m sticking to it. The low points however, good lord. Just, good lord. “A GIANT SWING” could become my version of “Bat Credit Card” if I don’t let it go right now, so I will. I’ll try to anyway. In any case, the good luckily outweighed the bad and this show turned out to be quite entertaining. Here’s hoping that trend continues with Hell In A Cell; despite the fact WWE only has two weeks to build up anything for it. I’ll see you guys next time. By the way, those things on/near the stage are still stupid.

Ten Movies And/Or Film Franchises I Have Never Seen

A few times in my life I have had a conversation that basically went like this (granted said example is an exaggeration).

Someone: Oh hey this reminds me of *insert movie here*
Me: Oh…I haven’t seen that movie.
Someone: WHAT? REALLY?
Me: ……yeah
Someone: WHY?
Me: I don’t know, just haven’t bothered to yet.

In some cases it can be explained away by age difference, but there have been plenty of times where people my age have seen PLENTY of movies I know exist, but have never actually seen. As such, I figured I would make a list of some of the movies and/or franchises I have yet to see as of writing this article. I may do more lists like this in the future, but I figure ten is enough for now. I would also like to point out that this is mainly going by movies/franchises that the vast majority have seen, so lesser-known/cult-status movies probably won’t show up here.

Mission: Impossible Franchise

The first of three action franchises I’m going to bring up, and I must say I have absolutely no idea what this film series is about. All I honestly know about these movies is Tom Cruise is in them, and one of the movies had a thing where two guys jump at each other on motorbikes, and the motorbikes explode or something like that…that is honestly all I’ve got. I’m not kidding. I honestly know nothing else about this franchise and I refuse to look it up to give a synopsis, because that’s the beauty of the thing. Considering I do know this franchise exists, yet know next to nothing about it, is actually quite amazing. That reminds me, I’ve also only seen three movies that actually have Tom Cruise in them, and that’s without even trying. Weird.

4/5’s Of The Die Hard Franchise


Ok. This one has Bruce Willis in it and he’s all “Yippee ki-yay mother fucker!” and stuff. And his character’s name is John McClane. Yeah, again that’s about all I know, but in this case I have seen ONE of the five movies. In a way I’m probably cheating, but the one I have seen is Live Free Or Die Hard/Die Hard 4.0, so I think this still counts in that I haven’t seen the three everyone actually seem to like (and “A Good Day To Die Hard”). Hell, I only ever saw the fourth one because it came on TV once and my dad was watching it, so I decided to give it a shot. The thing that strikes me as odd is, as well known as these movies are, I have never once had someone tell me I NEED to watch them. Ok actually maybe ONCE that happened, but still. Regardless I’ve honestly never felt compelled to watch the first three movies, or the fifth, so I’m not sure if I ever will watch them.

Lethal Weapon Franchise


Stars Mel Gibson & Danny Glover. Action movies. Yeah wow, I have no idea what the hell these movies are about. Hell, I had to look it up to remember Danny Glover was in the movies. Accidentally found out it’s a cop duo series, but I didn’t bother to read the plot synopsis for any of the movies. I’d honestly rather go in blind at this point if I ever watch these movies. How did I first find out about Lethal Weapon I hear you ask? Well that’s easy, there is/was a Lethal Weapon mini-rollercoaster at an Australian Theme Park called Warner Bros. Movie World. Yep. Had no knowledge of the movies as a kid, so that one ride being named after Lethal Weapon is where I first heard about it. Never got to ride it though, not that I’d have wanted to.

Star Trek Film Franchise


Funny thing about this? I’ve only ever watched one episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, so you could basically say I’ve pretty much never watched Star Trek period, let alone the movies. Being a Star Wars fan has nothing to do with it by the way, I’ve just never been compelled to watch Star Trek for some reason, and therefore have yet to pay attention to the films. Also, that does include the new “everyone’s younger” movies too, not just the movies William Shatner & Patrick Stewart’s respective eras had.

2001: A Space Odyssey


“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that Dave” “Daisy, daisy, give me your answer do”. That’s pretty much all I have off the top of my head. I know the basic plot somewhat, and I DID almost watch this the other week, but I missed it due to doing something else, so I am still yet to see it. That’s honestly it. Aside from HAL-9000, I have no idea of the full names for characters or anything else like that. Hell, I don’t even know what actors are in it! And that’s worse than anything I’ve brought up so far!

Citizen Kane


I know absolutely nothing about this movie aside from the quote “Rosebud” and the fact it’s in black and white. That is seriously all I know. I have no idea what the plot is, I can’t remember if I know any of the actors in it, and have no idea what decade this was even made in! Honestly I think that’s about all I need to say.

Indiana Jones Franchise


Now, I count the entire series instead of “all of them except Raiders” because I barely remember anything from Raiders, as I think I’ve only seen bits and pieces of the movie, and not the whole thing from start to finish. As far as I’m concerned that means I’m not cheating, so there you have it. I have seen Spice World, Master Of Disguise and at least one of the Care Bears movies…but I’ve never seen any of the Indiana Jones movies the entire way through or at all. Granted, depending on who you ask, not having seen Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull is probably a good thing.

Donnie Darko


Just what the hell is this movie about anyway? I can’t remember any of the actors that are in it and the only quote I know is “Go suck a fuck” and the titular Donnie’s response asking how one does so. I actually know how to suck a fuck, but I’d rather not explain it to keep this article “Safe For Work”. Let’s just say if you watch enough porn, you’ll figure out how.

The Evil Dead


I didn’t add “franchise” because I have seen Army Of Darkness, and Evil Dead 1 & 2 are basically the same movie from what I’ve been told. I’ve wanted to watch at least the first Evil Dead for quite a while, but for some reason I’ve just never gotten around to watching it. Not much of an excuse I know, but hey, it’s the only excuse I’ve got it seems.

Ghostbusters Franchise


Well, if none of the previous ones made you hate me, this just might. Sure there’s only two movies so far, but I have yet to see the second one at all, and I’m fairly sure I’ve never seen the first one the entire way through, only seeing bits and pieces when I was little. I honestly have no excuse for not having watched these movies other than “I just haven’t watched them yet”. Considering the hype behind them I’m almost as shocked as you are that I haven’t seen them, but the fact remains that I simply haven’t yet.

And that’s all for now. Is there any well-known movies/film franchises you’ve never seen that surprises people? If so, is it a case of not finding them appealing, or just not getting around to seeing them yet?

I’ll be back soon-ish with another article. But for that one, it’ll be a case of me trying to get you to watch something I’m fairly sure you haven’t seen, instead of talking about things I haven’t seen. See you all next time.

Top 5 Most Emotional Moments In New Who (So Far)

Hello everyone. I’m still having computer issues, and as such I am also doing this on my dad’s laptop (which I seem to have hijacked since the issues started). Anyway, to pass the time I’ve been watching episodes of the revived version of Doctor Who that I hadn’t seen (or at least hadn’t seen all the way through yet). After watching the episode with a moment that will steal the #1 spot no question, I decided to make this list. So here we go. Here are, in my opinion, the top 5 most emotional moments in New Who history…so far anyway.

Before that though actually, I have one honourable mention.

Honourable Mention: The Unfilmed “P.S.” Epilogue (The Angels Take Manhattan, Series 7)

Since this moment was unfilmed I decided to keep it off the list, but I couldn’t go without mentioning it. In this scene, Brian Williams, father of the character Rory, finds out through a letter from Rory that he’ll never see Rory & Amy again, with the letter itself being delivered by Brian’s own grandson, who happened to be older than him due to the “wibbly wobbly, timey wimey” events of The Angels Take Manhattan.

This moment is very well done, and actually brought me close to crying without even being a filmed scene. It really is a shame that this wasn’t filmed, as I feel, like many other fans, that the character of Brian Williams should’ve had a proper send off, despite not showing up much. Not much else to say on this one I’m afraid, but if you haven’t given it a watch (and are a New Who fan) please, give it a watch. You won’t regret it. With that said, onto the proper list.

Number 5 – “I was gonna be with you…forever.” (Journey’s End, Series 4)

Due to a “two-way biological metacrisis” creating a half-human Doctor and giving Donna Noble the knowledge of a Time Lord, the heroes are able to defeat the Daleks for the umpteenth time. When all of that is over and done with, The Doctor sends Rose and the half-human Doctor to the parallel universe, and notices that Donna seems to be having some sort of issue that makes her get stuck on one word or generally start listing off random things, with the cause being the fact a human is incapable of having a Time Lord consciousness without it killing them. As a result, The Doctor essentially makes Donna forget she ever met him as a way to save her, telling Donna’s mother and grandfather that if she ever remembers her mind will burn and she’ll die (a fact they later write off).

Say what you will about Donna Noble, but I actually really like the character, and she may be my favourite female Tenth Doctor companion. Granted that may simply be because she was the only one who didn’t fawn over the Doctor like a lovesick schoolgirl, but still, I actually found Donna’s farewell to be the most emotional because they were just such great friends, and the friendship had to end with Donna completely forgetting about The Doctor, and interacts with him in a brief scene afterwards like nothing ever happened, which is very powerful and heartbreaking stuff. Also this shows that The Doctor or his companion don’t need to be in love for a farewell to be emotional, since being such great friends means they’d have a strong emotional attachment anyway

Now I’m not saying The Doctor should NEVER be in love with someone, but Rose/The Doctor and Martha’s one sided affection for The Doctor never had me interested. I actually kind of like Rose’s stuff before she becomes a lovesick idiot. Therefore it was a nice change of pace to see The Doctor having a best friend, so seeing that being forced to come to an end, and Donna having to forget ever meeting The Doctor is why Donna’s exit as a companion take my number five spot.

Number 4 – “This is the story of Amelia Pond. And this is how it ends.” (The Angels Take Manhattan, Series 7)

At the end of The Angels Take Manhattan, all seems well until Rory gets “touched by an Angel” and sent back to 1930s NYC again, with a tombstone that previously had his name on it now having the year he died on it. Realising the only way she’ll ever see Rory again is to let herself be touched as well, Amy says a final farewell to River Song & The Doctor and also gets transported back to 1930s NYC, leaving The Doctor in an emotional mess of a state. Later when River says she’ll get Amy to write an Afterword in the book she has to write, The Doctor rushes back to the picnic spot where he, Rory & Amy had been sitting and finds the last page of the book, which he’d previously ripped out, and reads it. In the Afterword Amy reassures The Doctor that both she and Rory are fine, and encourages The Doctor to visit Amy as a young girl and tell her about the adventures she’ll have when she’s older

Seems fellow gingers are my favourite New Who companions. Who knew? Also, the only ginger companions of New Who (thus far) are both female friends of the Doctor rather than love interests…interesting. Anyway, Amy’s departure hit me pretty hard, despite not having previously seen most of her run until now. No lie, I saw all of Series 7 before I’d seen any of Series 6 or most of Series 5, so the fact Amy’s epilogue ALMOST made me cry is a reflection of how well the dialogue was both written and acted. Oddly that’s about all I have to say, so let’s move on.

Number 3 – “EVERYBODY LIVES!” (The Doctor Dances, Series 1)

It was honestly kind of hard to find a way to describe the moment in question, so here’s a video featuring the moment

The first time I gave The Empty Child and The Doctor Dances a proper watch; I did legitimately tear up somewhat at this moment. Not all that much, but there were some actual tears at least. What makes this moment work so well is the Ninth Doctor seems to have accepted beforehand that “everything has its time, and everything dies”, which goes along with PTSD nature of the this incarnation. So to see him hope against hope that this time it could be different, and it actually works out for him, after ALL the crap he’s been through, is just amazingly touching. Generally the way Christopher Eccleston plays this like a kid at Christmas is great to watch and what makes everything work. Here’s a guy who’s the last of his race and has seen so much death and destruction over his long life FINALLY getting a day where everything works out fine and no one dies.

This may actually be my favourite moment of the Ninth Doctor’s series aside from being the series’ most emotional moment, purely because of how legitimately happy Eccleston plays the whole thing and that Ninth’s mood isn’t brought down at all in the closing moments of the episode. All that and Rose not being all that annoying (yet) make this an easy choice for the number three spot. However, this was originally going to be in the number two spot. But then I saw an episode that I had a more emotional reaction to compared to this moment, which leads us to…

Number 2 – “Whatever you are, whatever you do, you’re my son, and I will never, ever send you away” (Night Terrors, Series 6)

Near the end of the episode Night Terrors, The Doctor, Rory and a man named Alex are surrounded by a bunch of human-sized, freaky-as-hell Dolls (one of which being Amy, whom was turned into one) until Alex’s “son” George shows up and the Dolls start to go after him instead. Realising George is still afraid that Alex and his wife would send George away, The Doctor convinces Alex to actually tell George this. After doing so, the alternate reality they were in ceases to exist and everyone who’d been trapped there (or turned into a doll) reappears where they were in the real world before they ended up in this mess.

Trust me; you’re better off seeing the episode than having me explain what happened, it was hard trying to do so and none of it really makes sense unless you’ve seen the episode. But in any case, the line that got this the second spot did get the tears flowing a bit for me, and remains only one of 3 Doctor Who episodes to date to actually do so (aka the top 3 of this list). There still weren’t rivers of tears or anything, but the tears flowed a little more freely than when I watched The Doctor Dances. These days family oriented stuff like this really can get to me a lot easier than it used to, especially when it’s well acted. Seriously, here are two characters that haven’t existed in Doctor Who before and never show up again, but there I was, lightly crying over an emotional moment between the father and son. That’s what you call good writing and acting.

However this moment, nor any moments prior to it, can even come close to what was always going to be the number one moment in my eyes.

Number 1 – The entire final act of “Vincent And The Doctor” (Series 5)

After the stuff involving the “monster-that-didn’t-really-amount-to-anything” is over with, and Vincent Van Gogh has a moment with The Doctor & Amy, The Doctor decides to show Vincent just how respected his work has become, bringing him to tears when an art curator played by Bill Nighy lauds Vincent Van Gogh as the greatest artist to ever live. Having seemed to restore his will to live, Amy & The Doctor return him to his time period and go back to the present, only to find that history didn’t change and Vincent still committed suicide. This hits Amy hard as she thinks they changed nothing, with The Doctor comforting Amy and telling her they did make a difference, and some minor changes, such as Vincent dedicating his sunflower painting to Amy.

As anyone who follows me on Twitter, Tumblr, or is a friend with me on Facebook may already know, this episode broke me. For the first time when watching an episode of Doctor Who, I openly wept. The “Feels Floodgates” were opened all the way. There I was, sitting in my room, silently sobbing and crying my eyes out for a good 2-3 minutes. I even continued to cry well after the episode was over, only coming around when I saw some funny images people had posted on Facebook and/or Tumblr. What makes this more impressing is that I’m not an “art aficionado” so I never knew much or cared about Vincent Van Gogh. The fact this show was able to make me cry about a famous artist I don’t care about is amazing in its own right.

The funny thing is, I’d been joking with a friend that I was expecting “feels” from this episode anyway, but when it was over I was shocked at just how hard it’d hit me. I felt like I needed a hug after all that crying. To make matters worse I, by chance, happened to get a nose bleed when I was starting to calm down again…so that was weird. Anyway, this easily got the top spot simply due to that final act. A live-action TV show has NEVER made me cry like that before, if ever. So it was a very easy pick. If you haven’t seen this episode, I beg you, please give it a watch. Yes, most of the episode is pretty forgettable, but it more than makes up for it in the last few minutes. In case you react the same way I did though, I suggest having a box of tissues or a hanky at the ready.

Well, that’s it. I actually had four out of five moments picked out before I’d even finished watching the episodes I hadn’t previously seen, but even finally finishing Series 6 didn’t change much, aside from the addition of the moment from Night Terrors to this list to round it out. What making this list has taught me is that no matter what people say about New Who, and no matter what low points and head scratching/silly stuff the show does, it can still have a heavy emotional impact when it wants to, as can any form of fiction. In the future I may do more things like this about New Who, but for now I’ll leave it at this. I’m glad I got to finish this when I did, as I won’t have access to a computer/laptop for possibly a week, so it’s good to know I was able to post something here this week to make up for  that. I’ll see you all next time with another article of some kind when I have computer access again.

Night Of Champions 2013 Review

Hello everyone, and welcome to my first ever written wrestling review. Alas my family’s computer has essentially snuffed it, so until either the memory is recovered or the hard drive generally fixed so it’ll  start working again (or we just flat out get a new computer), I can’t edit/make/post any videos. As a result, I’ve decided to do some of those “written reviews/articles” I’ve heard so much about. Anyway, Night Of Champions 2013, the PPV absolutely no one with half a brain was hyped for. How did it actually turn out though? Well, let’s get on with the review then.

For the record, I’m skipping the pre-show match because the WWE cared so little for it they decided to essentially put “ads” over it in two places. It wasn’t necessarily bad, but if WWE didn’t care, why should I?

Curtis Axel (c) vs. Kofi Kingston for the Intercontinental Championship – This match was a very nice  surprise. Before the match Curtis had a go at HHH for ignoring Heyman’s pleas to cancel the handicap match, which led to this match being made when HHH pointed out that every title was supposed to be defended. This was honestly a great move, as I had absolutely no idea who was going to win; it really could’ve gone either way and worked. The match itself was pretty damn good, with only one or two botches here and there, fortunately nothing major. Surprisingly I found myself rooting for Axel to retain, so when he did indeed win, with his modified Snapmare Driver, I was actually relieved. I mean, I’m not a HUGE Axel fan, but I do think he’s better than most people give him credit for. God awful on the mic of course, but wrestling wise he’s good. Another nice touch was how Paul Heyman could go from being completely apathetic about the match, to actually giving Axel advice, to being outright paranoid that Axel may lose. And even when Axel retained the title, Heyman still seemed unconvinced that Axel would be able to hang with CM Punk.

Match Rating: 7/10 – A good opening match that definitely got me pumped for a PPV I didn’t care about in the slightest beforehand. An extra point or two were given due to the fact I had absolutely no idea who was going to win, making the match that much more exciting than it would’ve been normally.

AJ Lee (c) vs. Natalya vs. Naomi vs. Brie Bella for the Divas Championship – As expected this match didn’t really go all that long, though it was longer than most typical Diva’s matches. Granted I stopped and started it a few times so that might be why it felt so short. Anyway, the match itself was pretty good for what it was. Naomi was the stand out woman of the match with half the things she did, though the moment of the match was Natalya getting both Naomi and Brie in a Sharpshooter at the same time. I have never seen that done before, let alone by a female wrestler. AJ Lee retains in the end in what felt like an oddly anti-climactic moment. Though I guess it at least meant Naomi & Brie had to actually sell the double Sharpshooter, so that’s fine I guess. Either way, the match was better than I expected, which was a very nice surprise.

Match Rating: 5/10 – A point was taken off due to the ending feeling a bit anti-climactic. That and because Brie never once did a Flying Mare. The Bella Twins used to do those all the damn time when they debuted; now they NEVER do them? What the hell guys? Also Brie Bella looked like jailbait in that outfit; just putting that out there.

Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. Rob Van Dam for the World Heavyweight Championship – The more I thought about it, the more I realised how much potential this match had, and definitely lived up to it. Plenty of good spots, including Alberto getting his knees up to block the 5-Star Frog Splash and locking RVD in the Cross Armbreaker from the mat instead of standing. There was at least three notable things that could almost be considered botches, but the only blatant looking botch was Alberto either completely missing with the “Back Stabber”, or RVD generally reacting too late and missing Alberto’s knees, landing back first on the mat. The ending…ok yeah I’m probably in the boat of people calling BS on it, but it made sense. RVD/Del Rio is going to continue so RVD gets the DQ win but no title, and neither man gets pinned or taps out. If this was their “feud ender” then I’d be more annoyed, but it didn’t really bother me too much. If it did, it was one of those cases where the match was going so well that the DQ finish kind of wrecked it a bit. Either way, the match was good; and the post-match Van Terminator after Del Rio tried attacking RVD was a nice touch.

Match Rating: 8/10 – This didn’t really have any points taken off, since I don’t think I would’ve given it a nine. However it was held back a bit by the DQ finish, despite me not really having much of an issue with it.

The Miz vs. Fandango – To be perfectly honest, the only thing worth mentioning about this match is that Fandango pulled out a Falcon’s Arrow; that move doesn’t get used in WWE nearly enough. Not a terrible match, but it was extremely forgettable.

Match Rating: 4.5/10 – Miz won by the way

CM Punk vs. Curtis Axel & Paul Heyman in a No DQ Elimination Handicap match – I had no expectations going into this match. Honestly? That was probably a good thing, because this wasn’t necessarily a great match. It was good for what it was (and over-gimmicked way of getting Heyman into things), but it was by no means great. Regardless I did enjoy it. Axel not being completely squashed by Punk was nice. It made sense that Punk would get passed Axel in the end, unless Heyman had gotten involved to save himself, which I’m kind of surprised didn’t happen, given the “thrown-on-at-the-last-minute” No DQ stipulation. Heyman got the beating of his life, and I’ll be damned if most of those screams weren’t legitimate. Punk didn’t seem to be holding back at all with his kendo stick shots, especially after having handcuffed Heyman at one point, and it was kind of hard to watch or listen to after a while.

I figured if Heyman & Axel won that a run-in would happen, even if it was just Axel coming back in. But I can tell you right now, I had absolutely no idea the run-in would’ve been Ryback. Yet another nice surprise; and Ryback showing up allowed the table to finally get used. Due to Ryback’s involvement Punk loses, and Heyman remains undefeated as far as being involved in multi-man matches in the WWE goes, having defeated the likes of The Hardy Boyz (pinning Jeff Hardy specifically), RVD, and Eddie Guerrero; with CM Punk now being added to that list. Clearly Paul Heyman should be WWE Champion by now.

Match Rating: 6/10 – Yes. This match has a lower rating than Axel/Kingston. Deal with it, that was a better overall match.

Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler for the United States Championship – Oh, for a second there when The Shield’s music hit I thought we were getting the Tag Title match. I honestly had no idea this match was happening. Then again, aside from having boycotted RAW, I’ve been unintentionally missing SmackDown a lot lately. This was a relatively short match, and despite not being terrible, nothing much to write home about. Granted the roll-through Ziggler did after Ambrose locked him in a full nelson, turning it into a pinfall, was pretty interesting. That’s about it though. Oh, and Ambrose wins…thank God.

Match Rating: 5/10 – Relatively short and forgettable, but not as forgettable as The Miz vs. Fandango.

The Shield (Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins) (c) vs. The Prime Time Players (Darren Young & Titus O’Neil) for the WWE Tag Team Championships – This match was actually better than I expected it would be, despite also being relatively short. I mean, it wasn’t great, but I did enjoy it and it was definitely worth watching. That’s about all I can say though, not much else to really point out. Reigns & Rollins pick up the win and retain the belts after Roman spears the hell out of Titus when the referee was distracted. I am ok with this. I’m a fan of both teams anyway so either result would’ve been fine for me.

Match Rating: 6/10 – Bugs me that it was so short, but they did the best they could with the time given, and the ending didn’t feel like a cop out.

Randy Orton (c) vs. Daniel Bryan for the WWE Championship – To be perfectly honest with you, this match did not live up to the hype. Like every other match it wasn’t terrible, but aside from a few big bursts from Bryan the rest was pretty standard fair for these two. The main interesting thing was Scott Armstrong managing a fast count. Like, wow, Scot Armstrong? Possibly the slowest ref in WWE managed a fast count? Just, wow. Also, this match will go down in the history books as containing the FASTEST referee change I’ve ever seen in my life. Seconds after Scott Armstrong goes down, a new ref shows up out of nowhere. That like…never happens. Or if it does, it’s usually a pretty rare occurrence. In any case, Bryan manages to pull out the win after Armstrong fast counts. Not that that’ll necessarily amount to anythi-oh.

Well…ummmm…yeah I got nothing.

Match Rating: 6/10 – Had some decent hype, and wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t as good as I thought it would be.

Overall PPV Rating: 6.07/10 – Worth at least one watch, but overall this is a PPV you wouldn’t necessarily feel bad about missing.

Match Of The Night: Rob Van Dam vs. Alberto Del Rio – This is going purely by the ratings I gave the matches by the way. Considering this match got the highest rating from me, it ended up being match of the night. I’d say it is pretty accurate though in any case.

Final Thoughts: I went into this with low expectations; and even though it surpassed those low expectations, the overall PPV was still pretty mediocre. The Punk match was nothing special; the main event was alright but could’ve been better, and generally I bet this PPV will be forgotten about fairly quickly, especially due to the main event’s outcome being rendered void the next night. If you haven’t watched it yet, I still suggest you give it a watch; if anything just to form your own opinion on the show. If you have seen the PPV, what are your thoughts? Do you agree with my opinion? Or do you think I’m incredibly wrong and need to be raped by a giant gorilla because of it? Hopefully the former, but I’ll leave it up to you guys.

My Top 10 Problems With: The Lord Of The Rings (The Book)

Having finally read The Lord Of The Rings this year, Thomas decided to make a video pointing out some of the (albeit mostly nitpick-y) issues he has with the book.

Music Kombat – Back In Black

Music Kombat returns………finally….for the first episode of 2013. Fittingly enough, the song being discussed this time around is Back In Black by AC/DC. Who the cover is by? The hell if I know.

The Ring Of Fyre – Episode 34

In this episode of The Ring Of Fyre, Thomas mainly discusses his thoughts on Chris Sabin winning the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.


The Ring Of Fyre – Episode 33

The Ring Of Fyre returns with Thomas’ thoughts on WWE’s July 2013 PPV, Money In The Bank.

Money In The Bank 2013 Review

The Ring Of Fyre – Episode 32

The Ring Of Fyre returns (quicker than expected) with Thomas’ predictions for the 2013 Money In The Bank PPV.

Money In The Bank 2013 Predictions

And Another Thing! – Horror Fans, Kids Show Makers, and THAT’S MY SPOT DAMN IT!

Fans hating change, weird business decisions and Thomas’ ego can all be found in this round of And Another Thing!

In Response To The Nostalgia Critic(‘s Top 11 Dumbest LOTR Moments Video)

Like most Nostalgia Critic fans, Thomas watched the Nostalgia Critic’s Top 11 Dumbest Lord Of The Rings Moments video and didn’t agree with everything had to say. So because he didn’t want to bother with a text response, he decided to make a video about it!